‘Near Scunthorpe’? More like a suburb of the human-rat-******** place. Don’t believe anyone who says Epworth is the nice part of Scunny, it’s just a **** country retreat. Hidden away in those oh-so-glamorous identikit estate houses is the greasy beating heart of true scummers.
The place is full of the kind of people who aspire to Burberry spoilers on their souped-up cars, and the glare from their cheap shiny tracksuits can cause third-degree burns.
The crime rate is so bad that Epworth has become the first place in Britain where the residents privately pay for an extra policemen to stop them killing each other & nicking each others’ knock-off DVDs.