Ahhh Epsom – soon to be the “**** central” of Surrey. The what was once a remarkably pleasant place to live has been infiltrated by the inhabitants of such areas as the “Wells Estate” and more prevelantly the “Longmead Estate”. Epsom and Ewell Council have a lot to answer for with regard to the strategic placing of problem families and general **** idiots in these places.
The high street has changed dramatically to make shopping more convienient for the **** lifestyle, incorporating such quality establishments as TK-Max, Savers, and of course the ever popular Wilkinsons. The latter also doubling up as a meeting place for teenage mums to congregate outside to discuss thier latest boyfriends, what they have just purchaced with thier income support and seemingly to cover thier pushchairs and children in thier Mayfair cigarette ash. If they cant find what they are looking for in Wilkinsons, which is rare, they can be found shoplifting thier way around the Ashley Centre. Claires Accessories being popular with the average **** lady and of course, H Samuel for when they are persueding thier boyfriends to buy them something slightly more expensive – giant gold hoop earrings or the remarkably tasteful gold clown pendants. Not forgetting the gold studs and hoops for 6 month old Brittany.
What better way to finish off a days spending government money than a trip down to the Weatherspoons, not only is it a stones throw away from TK Max and Wilkinsons, it sells cheap alco-pops and quality beverages such as aftershock to tempt, but you wont find another establishment in Surrey that will happily serve your fake burberry clad boyfriend a pint of snakebite made with stella. If that doesnt take your average ***** fancy, there are more family orientated establishments to go to such as The Ladas or The Sefton, as remember, getting drunk in epsom is not a pass time, its a family day out!
I would advise anyone thinking of moving to this “chavtown” to seriously think again!