For those of us who possess the basic attributes to which our Chav cousins are not privy, a post- evolutionary brain, knuckles which do not drag on the floor, a functioning command of the English language etc, the name of George Orwell will no doubt evoke differing images. Animal Farm, Burmese Days, Down and out in Paris and London to name but a few. What does George Orwell, one of the world’s most influential writers of the 20th century, have to do with the 21st century, common, grease monkey Chav, whose literary tastes (or lack of) extends to the Racing Post and/or believe that the “library” is a place akin to hell?
In his pivotal work, 1984, Orwell talks about the Proles (ie the Chavs of the day) being the only ones that could overcome the totalitarian state and free the people from the oppression of Big Brother. It may come as a surprise to many of you that the burberry clad, profanity spouting, car stealing, dole bludging, pocked marked father-of-3, 16 year old, who idles away his days in a haze of Trisha, White Lightening, court visits and Silk Cuts is not in fact a bacterial germ released by Islamic Militants but a budding revolutionary.
And how successful they have been! Like the “Reds under the Bed” the “Chavs with the Kebabs” are now everywhere. It is slightly ironic that the people that Orwell envisioned freeing society will in actual fact enslave us to everything that is Chav. No area of life will remain untouched, Britain in now the Land of the Inbreed, no longer the Land of Milk and Honey but the land of MaccyD’s and Harry Hilfiger (bought from the market), a country where an illiterate, 19-year-old footballing, woman-beating, retarded oaf who appears to have only the slightest grip on reality with a penchant for bedding 48-year- old Grandmothers sporting kinky leather, is hailed as king.
So people open your eyes and be ready! If we are not alert now, in a 100 years hence we will have a Prime Minister named Wayne, a Queen Mercedes the VII and the chequered flag of Saint Burberry will fly over all places of national importance, Asda, Tesco, B&Q, Poundland, Mcdonalds, and TK-Max.
Just as Newspeak changed the world of 1984 so will Chavlish slowly become the National language of England.This will enable our Grandchildren to express themselves in a series of grunts, clicks, “fucks” and “innits”. No stone of Old England will be left unturned, we will all be re-educated, indoctrinated, until finally, like Winston Smith, we will capitulate and all come to love Chav.
Chavstrip One – If there is any hope it is in the Proles? So says George Orwell!!!