Enfield Town truly is Chav Central. Generations of chav have been brought up in this town, therefore the wonderful place is full of chav heritage.
May I start with the ‘Town House’ where all self respecting young chavs began their journey through life once upon a time. The chav girls first pair of hoopy earrings and the chav boys first Burberry caps graced our streets.
Unfortunately, the Town House is soon to be demolished so other young chav generations will be unable to use the facility and develop their chav-ness. This will truly be a sad moment in chav history (when they eventually knock the thing down!!).
However the town is full of lots of other wonderful establishments and activities that the everyday chav can enjoy. Such as access to the local off-licence, where they can have the privilege of standing on the corner of the street with a ‘fag’ and a can of Holsten Pilsner, occasionally spitting at walkers by.
Of course there is the main town precinct for the chav couple to take little, Mercedes, Latisha and Brooklyn for a walk around the shops, a few jewelry shops stocking gold hoopy earrings in all sizes, large, larger and largest and of course for the male chav nice thick gold chains. Mothercare so the teenage chav mothers can find cute little outfits for baby Justin. Plus much, much more for the chavs convenience.
In Enfield Town a chav can never go hungry, food outlets such as KFC, Wimpy and Nandos are just a short walk down the road from the precinct. For fine dining, Mcdonalds, just across the road from the precinct. This establishment is used as a main meeting point by all chavs of Enfield, they are seen standing around outside all day and night, stuffing big macs in their mouths and slurping strawberry milkshakes followed by loud phone calls to all their chav acquaintances. They can be found frequently grunting at passersby with the classic line, ‘what you lookin’ at??’ or,‘you got sumfin’ for me??’.
For those sunny days, Enfield Town Park is a great place to ‘hang’ with a few ‘bredrins’ and steal a few mobile phones.
The nightlife is amazing. Unfortunately, younger chavs cannot yet experience the greatness of Enfield Towns nightlife, so are usually found hanging around smoking on corners or outside the UCG Cinema hurling abuse at the older chavs.
For those lucky 18+ year old chavs, the standard evening out first consists of a few drinks at the George pub, where they all meet up, boys wearing their square shirts, black trousers, shiny black shoes with a buckle on them and of course hair dripping with gel, the girls, freshly fake tanned and orange coloured, bleached blonde hair, new, even larger hoopy earrings and their t*ts and a*se hanging out, they all then continue to drink several pints, before staggering across the road to Bar Me shouting and spitting.
At about 11o clock the nice bouncers come into the ‘bar’ and politely shout at them to ‘f**k off!!’. At this point they all stampede down Southbury road to EROS, if they haven’t got themselves into a ruck outside Bar Me that is.