Eastbourne? Surely not that sweet seaside town, holiday destination for old lady coach trips. I’m afraid it’s true, if you scratch the surface of this quaint seaside community you will find a thriving community of useless toe rags commonly known as Chavs. I’m not getting at poor people who can’t afford decent clothes, homes, cars or food; no I wish them all the best. My gripe is with the worthless, ASBO fuckwits who’s only purpose in life is to make everyone else miserable and turn the world into one giant s******e. There are three things that make Eastbourne a heaven for Chavs. 1, it has a large docile easily intimidated elderly population. 2, it is full of cheap crap shops, clubs, pubs and takeaways and 3. It has a totally useless Police force; honestly these guys make the cops on the Simpsons look like CSI Miami. Visit Eastbourne during the day and you would be mistaken in thinking there is nothing wrong. You will see, mostly, ordinary people going about their business without any problems, with only a token presence of Chavs monging about. But as soon as the shops shut and it starts getting dark then the town is transformed. It’s like the whole population of planet W****r is beamed down to its streets. Everywhere you walk in town you will find groups of these Tossers hanging about spitting, swearing at the top of their nicotine stained lungs, breaking things and trying to look hard and intimidating to any old people or children who walk past, usually to impress the large numbers of skanky Chav slappers who wander about like CJD cattle looking for a shag or some mug to buy them drinks. If they’re not hanging about doing f**k all then they are driving around town in their crap Noddy cars, pumping out crap music and making their budget dunlops squeel. By the way, if any of these fuckwits are having this read to them by their social worker, tell them that when other people see them in their cars they don’t say to themselves ‘wow what a street hero, he must be from that film the fast and the furious’ no, what they are thinking is ‘what a w****r I hope he T-bones a cement truck at the next junction with his seat belt off’. One of the highlights of their night is to get wasted on cheap crap booze like that fake apple flavoured petrol known as white lightning cider then they can wage their eternal war on bus shelters, parked cars, shop windows and bins. Then, when they feel suitably brave enough, gang up on someone helpless, like an old man on his invalid scooter or one of the homeless mental patients sleeping rough on the sea front and give them a good kicking. Yes, the Eastbourne Chavs are a class act.