Dudley (Chavtown UK)

Dudley is one of the biggest towns in the west midlands and also one of the ********* towns in the whole country. Here’s a tour of Dudley.

Dudley town centre is an endless mass of cheap discount stores which runs from High Street by the Netto supermarket all the way to Castle Hill by the zoo and castle. Round the town centre you can find many pubs which are a good place for ***** to get served for beer underage sometimes as young as 14. Some bar staff used to be mean and would never serve alcohol to anyone without ID whether they were 18+ or not. But when ***** came on the scene all of that stopped. There were several incidents of ***** threatening bar staff which resulted in the police having to be summoned. And one pub landlord paid for his meanness by having the windows of his BMW bashed in with a baseball bat. And Shipley Amusement Arcades are an attraction for ***** even though anyone under 18 is strictly forbidden from entering – as the notices outside say. Many ***** are on the way to becoming pro gamblers after profiting massively from their winnings at Shipleys. Soon Dudley will overtake Las Vegas as the gambling capital of the world.

North of Dudley town centre are 2 very unplesant council estates, Priory and Wrens Nest. Almost every building in this area is a council house where mostly **** families live. Four ***** aged 14 were recently given anti social behaviour orders after they ran riot on the estate spraying grafhiti on empty houses and shouting racist abuse at black people. The Duncan Edwards pub on Priory Road is the ********* pub you can find anywhere in Dudley. Every evening you will see bodykitted Novas, Corsas and Clios parked on the pub forecourt with ***** standing on the pub steps drinking beer and passing more glasses of beer to the younger ***** who won’t get served. At the top end of the Priory are some of the worst roads in the midlands like Thornhill Road, Pine Road, Fern Road and Berry Road. Empty houses are dotted all over the place with litter strewn all over the gardens and grafhiti sprayed all over the boarded windows. In November 2004 an empty house in Pine Road was burnt by arsonists and the council have only just bothered repairing the damage. During that time ***** in training used it as a hide out.

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Just up the road from the Priory is the Wrens Nest which is a very similar area only even worse. The Washington pub on Wrens Nest Road is notorious for drug dealing and pub brawls. And more recently it has become an unofficial venue for **** car shows. One infamous car which used to put in an appearence at the Washington was a clapped out Vauxhall Nova which was even older than its owner. It had no insurance or tax and the driver used to perform no end of brake turns outside the pub to impress the younger ***** who were too short to even reach the accelerator. Finally the Nova met its end when a local hardman dragged the **** out of his car and ordered one of his mates to finish it off. The Nova was driven away to a nearby garage block in Elm Green and set on fire.

To the west of Dudley town centre is Queens Cross. For 30 odd years until July 2001 it was famous all over the midlands for two high rise blocks of council flats which housed some of the most notorious thieves and drug dealers in England. In the shadow of the flats was the Earl of Dudley pub in Wellington Road which is still there today. It closed for a while some years ago but has reopened and is the main pub for Queens Cross *****. The pub forecourt is also a good place for older ***** to buy cheap old cars for next to nothing. For many months there was a MK2 Golf parked on the pub car park and when it was finally sold it became the possession of a **** who transformed it from a sad old cardboard box on wheels to a bodykitted monster like those you see in maxpower magazine. Sometime in 2003 a man from the gas board went to check the gas meter of a house in Hillside Road and while he was inside the house a **** drove off in his van which was later found abandoned outside Elm Green garages. When the gasman came outside he didn’t notice his van was gone right away. He was too busy trying to escape a rotweiler who pursued him until he managed to climb up a tree on Wrens Nest Hill.

East of Dudley town centre is Kates Hill, a notorious council estate which was mostly built in the 1930’s. The area around Corporation Road and Beechwood Road was a notorious rat run in the days before ***** when joyriders used to belt along at 70mph in stolen cars which were later burnt on Green Park playing fields. Then part of Corporation Road was blocked off so that was the end of the joyriders. It was time for the ***** to take over. They qued up outside the off licence for beer which the shopkeeper was only too happy to serve them. Anyone passing through the bottom part of Kates Hill drives through with their car doors locked. And its the same right at the top of the hill around St John’s Road, where ***** have taken over just about everything. Almost every wall in St John’s road is covered in grafhiti and almost every window is boarded. On the corner of High View Street is the Freebodies Pub where a man known to the regulars as Nimrod was stabbed to death in October 2003 after a fight between ***** and yardies. A man from Netherton called Richard Reid was cleared of the murder but 99% of Kates Hill is still convinced that he did it. Cars parked on the car park are regularly stoned and even torched by the local *****. Behind the Freebodies pub is the newest part of Kates Hill which was built in the 1970’s and is a mass of council houses and flats sprawling off a labarynth of alleyways. Very few people ever walk down the alleyways because they fear of being mugged and in their own homes they feel like prisoners separated from the outside by security intercom systems in the communal entrances. Car crime is rife on Kates Hill with cars being stolen and torched all the time. Even garages are no protection for cars. One morning a few years ago a man went to get his car out of the garage and found it gone. It was later found torched in the maze of alleyways behind the block of flats where he lived. Other people with cars have often remained prisoner in their own homes because their garage has been blocked by burnt out cars.

Dudley should be renamed Chavtown UK as at least 50% of its population are now *****.

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