Written by Anonymous. Posted in South West

If you’re unlucky enough to know who i’m talking about here, then you truly know Northampton.  There was a young gentleman chav who used to regularly "roll" through the ‘ton. He would roll because he had only one leg. Now I do not see this in itself as a point of ridicule, i do however find it as funny as f**k when i see this fat, puce drunk dole scrounger attempting to hit out at someone that his mates are actually holding in front of him. He misses, falls out of the chair and lands chins first onto the concrete. Funny you may think, but it gets better. Like an episode of Dad’s Army, his mates stumble around him trying to put him back in his chair. "Leave us alone, fook off, i’m reet!" he screams at his malnourished posse. For ‘Hopalong’ has pride you see, that means he can get himself back in his chair. Only he can’t. All he does manage, is to bend over the seat of the chair with his tracksuit bottoms halfway down his arse exposing a blotchy red crevice. The potential victim of his beating has now long gone and people in the street are staring as he shrieks at passers-by to "Fook off"
As my friends and I compose ourselves, one of my more eagle-eyed chums swears blind that he saw a tear inch down his fat, purple cheek.
This happened about a year ago and recently he has been conspicuous by his abscence. A reliable source told me he was dead. Good.

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