Well folks, Essex was once known as a suburban paradise for inner city workers to spend there final days as middle aged people and become pensioners. Unfortunately, the youth of these three areas have in recent years, made the traditional “Farmland” into some kind of “Compton, London borough hybrid”.
First, there is Debden, Debden is often considered the poorest of the three areas and for good reason, the place is littered with rubbish, the only hand movement down the local pool club (Riley’s) is when some poor kid get’s his hand cut off for not having a cigarette lighter, the local petrol station becomes a potential health hazard (well, what do you expect with stupid 13 year old kids smoking next to a petrol pump?) and the local “Chicken Hut” is usually a stomping ground for the local teenage hoodie wearing, bling’d up mega c**v.
The local breed of c**v is a nasty type, normally hunting in packs of 10, looking for some “older guy” to buy some cigarettes, cider or weed, they normally take “nice” weekend trips down to Loughton, simply to beat up the “rival gang” of c**v’s, which normally results in loss of property and gives the older lot a think of “what the f*** did we raise?”.
In between Loughton and Debden is of course, Epping Forest College, which if you don’t listen to Rap or wear black nike tracksuits and hoodies (in summer too), you automatically are classified as a “gofick blad”. EFC can be ok if you hang around in a group of 6 or so, you’ll be fine, just don’t go alone, you’ll ever be converted to the way of life or “jacked”.
Loughton is next on the list, were the local high school (Roding Valley) is where many c**v’s get educated (and normally drop out at year 9). The place is filled up with screaming 15 year old girls with skirts like belts, a bottle of barcardi in one hand and a pack of durex in the other. The boys have the same look as that of Debden, hoodie with tracksuits, but in this case, to try and stay out of that classification, designer labels are normally the fashion (and with shops like Zee & Co with unlimited supplies of burbery, it makes you think whether the council tried making the c**v populas increase on purpose).
The local boys all seem to drive, whether it be mopeds or supped up cars, all of which go around 70miles an hour down the local high street, meaning unless you have the reactions of a cat, crossing the road is a no no. The town itself is quite nice during the day, but at night (even with the curfew and police station), the local train station, Sainsbury’s and the local kebab shop is simply…avoid at all costs. C**v fights are a common practise here (either between Debden or “Bow Boiz”), they either end on “one dick” chicken’s out or when a gang of 10 beat up one guy (what happened to the days of one on one?).
The last on the list in Buckhurst Hill, which in recent years has seen the c**v population increase. At the moment, only the local train station is c**v territory, but how long can this last? With the local night club down Queens Road (Blue Monday) bringing in a influx of yobbish London c**v “goin down da countryside” for further annoyance for the local populus. They contribute nothing to the town, except any food they ate earlier and making it apart of the road and making any stupid teenager think “I wanna be just like them”, it seems only a matter of years before this middle class paradise has the same level of chavness as any London Borough.
It seems sad that these once nice areas have become like this, maybe the next generation will learn the mistakes of the past and not dwell into this way of life for all our sakes.