Written by Anonymous.

Dagenham has turned chav breeding into an exact science. they start from babies with their baby-sized burb hats and tracksuits, being wheeled to the post office on a monday morning in convoy. It is like watching an episode of Rawhide, all these fat heffers driven on by the promise of government handouts, their hair tied back so tight, their faces almost wrap around their heads…twice!!! Beside them walks the obligatory Staffordshire Bull Terrier in a harness that makes the poor dog look stupid. Do dogs suffer from shame? Take a look at one of these poor creatures and tell me. I watch with the skin crawling off my body as these insults to feminimity spit on the pavement and their call their young children worse names than grown men call each-other in jail!!! But as long as they look big and clever as they do it, who cares? The Mall is a small shopping centre on The Heathway(The town’s main drag). Chavs like to congregate, apply the “safety in numbers” theory and give distress to decent people. The Mecca for all chavs in Dagenham has to be Dagenham Sunday Market. Here, all chav needs are catered for. At a glance, it looks like any other market, but on closer inspection, you see why they go there. Scores of stalls sell fake designer clothing, sold with the promise that “no-one would ever know the difference”. The chav jewelry stall is a sight. Have you ever seen Nike “swoosh” earrings? More to the point, have you ever seen anyone stupid enough to wear a pair?!! If you ever have the misfortune to be stranded in dagenham and the chavs get too much, visit the library near the old Fiddlers roundabout.(books are like kryptonite to chavs). you should be safe in there, until closing time, anyway-

MR. BARRACOODA


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