Ok so basically I spend my Friday night and weekend in Crook. Every Friday night I don my best shirt and jeans and hit the town. However almost EVERY time it is spoilt by the little chava brats! They hang round the entrance to either Walters (or Coop Welcome as it prefers to be called now) and just round the corner from Victoria Wine. They sit with their wearing their Berghaus coats, their Fred Perry stripey jumpers, their fake Burberry hats.
Then theres the chava, who thinks hes IT with his ****** rave ‘music’ (if you can call it that) blasting out of his phone. They mostly all smoke their dope – thinking there hard. They all stand waiting for some poor person walking past either Walters or Victoria Wine and then ask them to go in the shop for them. It can be anything from skins so they can roll there joints, vodka (if they can afford it), cider or there Lambert and Butler. Then if you are the unlucky sod they hand you handfuls of copper that they collected from all there friends who has decided tonight is the night.
Then later on after ive had a few pints with my friends we have a walk to the market place where the burger van is – we only recently found out that anytime before 9 (chavas bedtime) is a bad time to go for a burger. There was a lot of them standing about with their bottle of White Lightening ‘ew’ and there Berghaus’s (as ya do when your a chava). I managed to get my burger and was quite happily sat eating when I was surrounded by 10-15 of the little ******* pestering me. I simply walked off and they left me alone. However my friend was unlucky they crowded round him and then ‘started on the ******’. One little minute ******* hit my friend in the face (not hard because really chavas arent hard they just think they are) after this my friend hit him back twice maybe 3 times after realising their ‘marra’ was losing the other bastards joined in (by this time i had gone to the toilet and was on my way back). We ignored them but they followed us to the bus stop, they then continued with their aggrovation, one put down his bottle of White Lightening and proceeded to brush down his Berghaus. The others copied him and we were faced by 10 of them obviously wanting a fight….I couldn’t help thinking to myself was the brushing down of the Berghaus some tribal move? Just like the New Zealand All Blacks before their rugby games? Trying to intimidate us? I am sorry but at this point I could not stand and watch any longer, I was in stitches nearly rolling around on the floor. I had to walk away because I could not bear the laughter any longer it was hurting so much. They followed us until at last we got on the bus and we left the chava town….Crook.
There are also a lot of what I like to call chava cars driving about. These are old Vauxhall Caveliers with huge exhausts, blacked out windows, and huge alloy wheels that roar about trying to wheel spin at the junction opposite The Horse and Shoe and next to the bus stop which seems to delight the chavas waiting for their buses.
So my advice to you is….if you happen to be in Crook, County Durham, do not visit the burger van on the market place before 9, if you can ‘get served’ do not walk past Victoria Wine and stay clear of all people wearing either stripey jumpers or Berghaus’s.