Crawley is an open-air kickboxing ring that has no rules, no referee, no taste, no ropes, and that spans over a few miles. Anyone can get involved; girls, boys, young, old, drug addled or pissed, it really doesn’t matter. It is mainly populated by council houses which spit out children onto the street (into the ring). Anyone would think that a sperm wave washes over these poverty striken areas every month, as all the ********* roll onto their backs, put their ankles by their ears and let the ***** soak in. Before you know it you have hundreds of little contenders doing drugs and beating the **** out of OAPs.

Apart from this fight culture there is also a megaplex…where the kids can fight in the car park after being served underage in Hollywood bowl. The sound of revving cars and splitting jaws always makes for a nice ambience in this disease riddled, blood flooded, crime raving, pram fest. Also within this megaplex is Brannigans. I thought this was an overflowing waste disposal unit until I heard one of the needle-punctured pieces of **** talk. Turns out it was a human.

Hopefully they’ll all **** each other soon or die of sexually transmitted diseases. Will save us having to bomb the dozy *****.

How grim is your Postcode?

Crawley = **** smeared Fungi

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