Key **** watching locations include the Harry Tuffin megastore, the railway station and the bench outside the old Midland Bank.
Craven Arms is of great professional interest to the chavologist, as it is an example of a settlement which is only at Stage One of the Chavtown Life Cycle. Despite the influence of emissaries from Telford, Shrewsbury and Hereford (referred to as “chavangelists” by field researchers), Craven Arms has not been heavily chavified (yet…).
This is surprising, as you would think that such a redneck place would be fertile ground for the establishment of a model **** community. Surely the kids’ uniform of tight jeans and rugby shirts could be supplemented, with expeditions to the fashion hotspots of Shrewsbury, with burberry and bling? Surely the high incest rate of Shropshire provides enough material to keep Trisha in work for years to come? Surely the rural supermarket experience that is Harry Tuffin’s, already showcasing the finest low-cost plastic products of Chinese slave labour and more bottles of wine for under £5 than the whole of many larger urban shopping centres, is ripe for takeover.
But it may not be. The future of Craven Arms is in the balance – let us fight these signs of chavification.
