North West

The question of where is Cowling? is one that could be debated over for many hours mainly due to the lack of people who have ever left. Other names for for Cowling include Chavling, inbreadville and ****** city. Cowling Village falls under the North Yorkshire County Council, however the people of cowling rule themselves, anyone who rules against this gets shot.The village as it stands today is very different to the way it was years ago. this is because the ****’s parents do not work in the local mill, because they get paid more in benifits. Every person in cowling has three or more kids, and they are taught to smoke from an early age, and to drink guiness because ‘it is good for you’

Young ***** tend to hang out at the ‘wrek’ (short for recreational playground) with a tinny bought from ‘malcum’s’ shop. Games include rolling down a hill in a nicked sewage pipe/dusbin, bb gun fights and pissing on the swings and waiting for someone to sit on it.

Older ***** sit in the back room of the bay horse with a pint of carling, playing pool, and smoking old ‘tab ends’. After they get into their ‘done up’ nova (alloy wheels and kenwood sticker bought from motor world) and drive to there nearby shack/shanty/mud hut and sleep until ‘that orange thing **** up in’t mornin.

How grim is your Postcode?

Never try and find cowling, you’ll never leave.

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