Once a thriving steel town, Consett is now a typical example of a failed regeneration area. I had the misfortune to visit friends living there, on a bank holiday weekend. With an overabundance of pubs and nightclubs crammed together in a small area, the favourite Consett pastime is to start a fight at closing time, or more usually, en route to the nightclubs or take aways. For those unfortunates who risk waiting for the bus at this time, hordes of charvas are waiting to start a fight (in between puking up dodgy curries, pissing on the seats, or groping their slappers). The bus ride home from the town centre is also eventful, as it frequently stops for the driver to try to prevent the usual fighting or vandalism.
Lacking any kind of shopping arcade, the c***s usually congregate in Middle Street, the local park having been “developed” for housing by the council. The local industrial estates,however, provide excellent testing grounds for their crap and illegal cars, with plenty of fields for quick get aways.
Saturday afternoons in the town centre are infested with c***s too young (or inexperienced) to drive a car, who roam around drinking white lightning and smoking rollies. The small arcade at the end of the street is a mecca for cheap jewellery and much loved by chavettes, as is the new Matalan and Argos, provided by an understanding council.
Councillors will tell you that there is no drug problem in Consett, and this is true…Most C***s seem to have no problem getting hold of them at any rate, judging by their speech, which has a bare resemblance to English. Watching c***s and chavettes stoned out of thier brains in a mating ritual is possibly the most gut churning experience you will have, especially as the ubiquitous bottle of lambrini and rollie are not left out and often accompanied by a chips and curry take away.
There is actually employment in the town, but so far most c***s have manged to avoid this inconvenience, preferring instead, “nightshift” work.
A large Job centre, thoughtfully placed between 2 pubs and in easy access of the “lard van”, take aways and discount shops, provides them with a fortnightly lesson in literacy (signing their names on spurious giro claims).
New housing developments springing up like a rash supposedly are bringing new prosperity to the town, although nobody in their right mind drinks in the town centre at weekends.
The town has an excellent by-pass, visitors are strongly advised to use it and avoid the town at all costs.