Colne, also known as Smackcentral is a small town in Lancashire, North West England which must be visited if you are a c**v!
Fave chillout spots:
Macdonalds: the manager is a right old bag! they send us vouchers through the post and wont let any c***s use em! the bastards took the benches away aswell so now we have to stand up!
Matalan: opposite Macdonalds where all the fit boy racers go in there kitted up cars!
Dillons: used to be the fave hangout spot but not anymore, hardly anyone goes ther anymore cos u can’t do anything without gettin busted off the cops
Birtwhisle park: not exactly a park for younger kids, full of glass and burnt out bins! in the easter holidays everyone just used to go and get recked out of their faces!
Alkincoats: most recent chillout spot where some talented c**v had sprayed a cannabis leaf on the bowling green! it look s**t hot!
If ya wanna be a c**v, u have to own a at least 3 of the following items;
pair of Rockports, trackys, Nike Trainers, Any item of gold, any item of Burberry, any item of Fred Perry or Henri Lloyd, a pair of knee length socks, Cap or a can of Stella! ITS THE C**V LAW!
3/4 of the population of Colne have either experimented with illegal drugs or currently still use drugs. Smack, Crack, XTC, Weed, Speed, Shrooms, u name it, we have it! we also have some special drug using techniques aswell! Most teenage boys and girls smoke and the few who dont are called GEEKS!
A normal weekend would consist of goin up the tower, gettin so drugged up you have to stay in bed for a week. There is also a ‘mini version’ of the tower called ‘Subway’ for under 18’s on a friday night. £2 entry, go in, listen to the bangin tunes, watch the 12 year olds buzzin from taking pills, and….even if you can’t spare £2 to get in, wait outside at 10pm if you want to see a guaranteed fight! If your a goth or a mosher or you aren’t from Colne, DO NOT COME! u will most likley end up in Burnley Gereral Hospital!
C**v Words and Phrases:
Who’s ya mate! = Wot The F**k!
Screb End = Dick Head
Docker = Scrubber
Pill Head = Someone who takes the much loved drug Ecstasy!
Do One = Go Away
F**k Away = Go Away
Townie = C**v
Did’s = Pills
can’t be bothered to list anymore!