Colne, also known as Smackcentral is a small town in Lancashire, North West England which must be visited if you are a chav!
Fave chillout spots:
Macdonalds: the manager is a right old bag! they send us vouchers through the post and wont let any chavs use em! the bastards took the benches away aswell so now we have to stand up!
Matalan: opposite Macdonalds where all the fit boy racers go in there kitted up cars!
Dillons: used to be the fave hangout spot but not anymore, hardly anyone goes ther anymore cos u can’t do anything without gettin busted off the cops
Birtwhisle park: not exactly a park for younger kids, full of glass and burnt out bins! in the easter holidays everyone just used to go and get recked out of their faces!
Alkincoats: most recent chillout spot where some talented chav had sprayed a cannabis leaf on the bowling green! it look s**t hot!
If ya wanna be a chav, u have to own a at least 3 of the following items;
pair of Rockports, trackys, Nike Trainers, Any item of gold, any item of Burberry, any item of Fred Perry or Henri Lloyd, a pair of knee length socks, Cap or a can of Stella! ITS THE CHAV LAW!
3/4 of the population of Colne have either experimented with illegal drugs or currently still use drugs. Smack, Crack, XTC, Weed, Speed, Shrooms, u name it, we have it! we also have some special drug using techniques aswell! Most teenage boys and girls smoke and the few who dont are called GEEKS!
A normal weekend would consist of goin up the tower, gettin so drugged up you have to stay in bed for a week. There is also a ‘mini version’ of the tower called ‘Subway’ for under 18’s on a friday night. £2 entry, go in, listen to the bangin tunes, watch the 12 year olds buzzin from taking pills, and….even if you can’t spare £2 to get in, wait outside at 10pm if you want to see a guaranteed fight! If your a goth or a mosher or you aren’t from Colne, DO NOT COME! u will most likley end up in Burnley Gereral Hospital!
Chav Words and Phrases:
Who’s ya mate! = Wot The F**k!
Screb End = Dick Head
Docker = Scrubber
Pill Head = Someone who takes the much loved drug Ecstasy!
Do One = Go Away
F**k Away = Go Away
Townie = Chav
Did’s = Pills
can’t be bothered to list anymore!