Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Uncategorised

Chickenly was once a peaceful little farming village until the evil Kirklees Empire took control, and built a big ole Council Estate all over it.

The Council Estate grew. The dreaded tin houses came first, followed by their big brothers, the ‘redbricks’. It wasn’t long before the gobby, fat, pregnant Chav Mum, her 10 skin-head kids and weedy, lazy, beer-guzzling boyfriend (they don’t have husbands, all chavs have a ‘Mum’s Boyfriend’ in their family) moved in.

The old people where immediately terrorized. Chickenly is right next to Dewsbury. All the farms were moved to the outskirts, giving the freeloading benefit-fraud-council-estaters an excellent view. Chickenly is one big council estate, and nothing more.

Each family has a fat, Chav Mum smoking in the garden wearing a bathing suit, telling young Jordan and Liam to “GET INSIDE!” as they piss freely in the road whilst fighting.

If you ever drive through Chickenly, you need to be careful not to run over any young Chavs in the middle of the road. Sometimes they refuse to move and give you finger signs, so rev your engine and watch them run.

Every Chav Family has a dog of course. However, they don’t take them out in the large fields. They keep them in the gardens to shite everywhere and bark at people, or just let out to roam the streets.

There is a park, of course. The swings no longer exist, just an empty wooden frame, and the Kirklees Council can’t clean up the mess they made, because they’ll get ‘decked’.

The park is situated in the middle of a dog-s**t-sodden field, and there are always the Chav teens smoking, taking drugs and f*****g.

A recent incident occured in Chickenly to a poor innocent boy. The wood which lead from Chickenly to Cleckheaton, a nearby less-chavvy town, is a metropolis for young Chavs to mug some old ladies for some cigs. Recently, a young child was taken from his garden by a group of 11-12 year old Chavs, beaten up and hung by his neck from a tree. Luckily, he was found in time.

DON’T GO TO CHICKENLY!


Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in North West

Dewsbury. A happy little town with only few Chavs (because you can’t get behind the McDonalds), where normal people hail. However, it has a village. A sick, twisted little brother if you will. The little town of Chickenly.

Chickenly was once a peaceful farming hamlet, where children played and fed the horses. However, the evil Kirklees Empire took control of this peaceful hamlet, and built a big council estate all over it. The farms were long forgotten, and Chickenly is now one big council estate.

There is no escape from it. Chickenly, now a village, is all council estate, and all of the farms now simply surround it, the beautiful views of the remaining farmland wasted on the freeloading estaters, as usual.

Chickenly is as bad as it gets. The minute you drive in, there are gangs of 5-year-olds, playing football in the middle of the road, pissing on the street and giving you dirty looks, each with over 20 siblings, and the customary ‘gobby’ council estate Chav Mum, too lazy to work, so claims off the council while she stays at home breeding.

There are the other usual things, wild rotweiler dogs freely roaming the streets. The dog problem is terrible. A Dewsbury newspaper once told a story of a cat literally ripped in two by two greyhounds.

Strangley enough, the Chavs don’t go anywhere near the park. Instead, they terrorize the old people and bus stops. There are nothing but Chavs here. Walking the streets alone at night would guarantee you would get attacked.

There are syringes on every back alley, alcohol bottles all over the place. The local pubs are full of Chavs who are completely obviously nowhere near 18 years old.

You have the usual gangs of teenage Chavs, and their 5-year-old little minions, who spit at you and swear at you, and if you say the slightest thing back or even look at them, they tell their ‘protectors’ to ‘deck you in’.

However, all this is nothing compared to the very bottom of the giant council estate. Right at the bottom are the dreaded TIN HOUSES! The cheapest of the cheap, where fat Chav mums sit out front in their bikinis, a fag in one hand, a alcohol bottle in the other, and the skinny little Chav husband, wearing an England top from donkey ages.

The Chavs who live in the tin houses are twice as bad as the ones who originate from the red bricks. They are, in some way, at war with each other. Scruffy, unkept young children running around pantsless in the streets. There is s**t all over the place, not just of dog, but of human.

None of the people in Chickenly, except the senior citizens who simply get terrorized, would do anything for the country. They wouldn’t put a penny towards it. Except, they sit on their fat arses crashing into each other and getting rich from whiplash claims, and benefit fraud.

In Chickenly, the Chavs aren’t civilized whatsoever. It is like going back to Prehistoric Times in the Chav World. You’ll see no fake Burberry or Fred Perry here, this is the real deal. Caps off, skinheads showing, usually topless (both Chavs and Chavettes), shagging in peoples’ gardens. Any Chavs from the outside world coming to Chickenly would be considered snobbish bastards, who can afford fake gold and Vauxhall Novas, and even the ‘proper baaaad spoiler on’t back’.

Driving into Chickenly will get you funny looks from every direction. If you are Asian, do not go into Chickenly, you’ll get eaten. Don’t touch the slide in the park, it will be covered in Chav cum. In fact, don’t go near Chickenly. Drop a bomb on it, and hope that all the Chavs are executed.