Chesterfield or Taaarrrn!

DerbyshireEast Midlands

***** in Chesterfield greet people with a particulary loud and intimadating “ORAATE!”. Two types of **** exist in Chesterfield. The common Cretin, and the Elite ****. The common cretins tend to hang around the town centre during the day, grouping togother near McDonalds. They occupy their days by gobbing off at strangers, and strutting around town pretending to be going somewhere, looking for something to do to fill their pointless lives. These particular morons love to wear branded sportswear, often purchased from JD sports (which, sadly has recently shutdown) They also favour car parks as hangouts, in particular “the donut”, especially when the fair is on. A great place for young Shane to tek iz lass Chazney fer a date.

The elite **** is a more soquistcated form of ****. Such ***** can be identified by their clothes, which in this case is normally expensive designer labels they can’t really afford. Stone Island, Aquascumtum, Henri Llyod, Rockport, and Lacoste, to name a few. Much of this gear is bought from Zebra.

These ***** are often of a higher social standing, in many cases spoilt middle-class dropouts, who aspire to be the next generation of CBS (chesterfield bastard squad football hooligans).

These people love to drink, and can be found all over town on “fridee and satdee nates.” Normally by about 12ish their “kickin’ off” with some poor innocent soul who had the misfortune of being in their eyesite. What a great way to let out all that pent up anxiety ay? If ya fancy a good “fate” in Chessi, why not try Ritters, or Fever, or the recently opened Lava/Ignite.

Here is what you might find a **** in Chesterfield saying.

“well I were art on satdee nate liiiike, and some fuckin r8 nobhead looked at me liiiike, so I fuckin laid him arrrt! So then a guz back up t Newbowd, and I found some **** has thrown up on me rockys, so I volleys im int head, then pigs turn up and im darnt nick like!”

My Apolgies to the Chesterfield tourist board.

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