Chester-le-Street is located in North Durham in the North-East of England. It is known commonly to the locals as “Chesta” and is home to a large base of ***** (known up here as “charvers”).

There are many reasons for there being so many charvers in “Chesta”. Firstly, the appeal that the newly-built Tesco has upon the town. The influx of this new store means that there are more large cardboard boxes in the town. This allows more accomodation for charver families and their pastie babies. (Babies pushed around in prams and often found covered in crumbs as their “Sharons” (mothers) only give them a poor diet of numerous Greggs pastries.

The local number one charver nightclub also draws in the imbaseals to the town. Crocadillo’s (known locally as “Crocs” or “Crocadildo’s”) is the perfect place for charver lads and lasses to give and receive around 100 lovebites per night. The fun never stops!

Behind Crocs is the carpark on the hill. This is home to many boy-racers who like to park up their souped up old bangers whilst their Sharon gives them a good ******* – for public viewing.

A final reason/place for charvers coming to/******* out in Chesta is the traditional market place. On Saturday’s, the flea market is home to a small stall where the local supplier of “New Monkey” can be found. This is hard dance/house music with an “MC”, usually a tagged smackhead screaming lyrics, well…talking in a poor american accent over the top. (if you wish to hear this, you can download mp3’s from When the flea market isn’t taking place. The metal poles which make the stores provide and excellent hangout/climbing frame for the local charvs. To give it that extra fun, the nearby busstops also mean that there are plenty of people to irritate and shout abuse at.

Visit Chesta for a real charver experience!

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