***** in the Countryside

I am from a quaint little villiage called Stalmine, Over Wyre. We have *****, I don’t know why as I was under the impression they were from the towns (as they are often refered to as ‘townies’). As there is absolutly sod all to do in Over Wyre the ***** often congregate on various parks just smoking and admiring each others mopeds as they are not yet old enough to own cars or their middle class parents aren’t stupid enough to buy them one. There are also quite a lot of fights, this could be to do with the lack of things to do or the lack of breeding partners as most of them are already related.***** marrying their cousins is quite acceptable. They struggle to buy the traditional drinks of **** choice, cider and Lambrini as in little villages everyone knows each other and therefore know how old everyone’s offspring are. Even though they are quite removed from the rest of the **** world (there is only one council estate over Wyre) they display all the same characteristics, shouting random abuse at strangers and passers-by, driving ****** souped up Novas and Fiestas, tucking their trousers into thier socks etc… Countyside ***** seem to have a greater age range than other *****, starting at around eleven and they don’t grow out of it. Due to the lack of night clubs, the young **** has no choice but to attend the village hall disco, or sit outside it as an act of rebellion. It’s quite a spactacle come midwinter, 14 year old girls wearing more make up than clothes and **** boys in shirts they borrowed off their dads and big chains they got from the pound shop all freezing their big hoop earrings off for the ‘last drags’ on someone else’s cigarette. And why do they all talk in that weird voice?

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