Chatham: Whats the probability?

A businessman gets of the train in **** capital Chatham.
“Excuse me please,” he asks the nearest baseball hat wearing, shellsuit attired ****, “Is there B&Q in Chatham.”
“Nah mate,” the **** replied, “but there’s 2 H’s.”

This requires thought on 2 levels:

First – whats the probability of the **** replying nicely?

How grim is your Postcode?

Second – Would they be able to spell Chatham?