Redditch is literally a ditch in the centre of England, furthest point from the sea (or so i’m told) and a congregational spot for the sad species known as ‘*****’. These small unwitting creatures like to hang around the town centre in large groups (these ***** are pack hunters, most only grow to about 4ft […]
Category: Worcestershire
The worst places to live in Worcestershire
Malvern
Malvern, despite once being described by a friend of mine as “a dark, Satanic Trumpton”, is actually a nice place, if you avoid one or two **** hot spots. When I moved here 20 years ago Malvern was a middle class haven dominated by the blue rinse brigade and day trippers in hiking boots, and […]
Bromsgrove
Bromsgrove….a little town on the outskirts of birmingham, ******** with the “**** ****” that makes up over half of it’s population. Here the ***** are either of one extreme or the other. One extreme being they are seven year old wannabe *****, smoking and drinking, swearing at any unexpecting member of the public who is […]
Pershore
I unfortunately was born and bred in Pershore. The reason it is so very **** is that it neighbours king of all **** towns – Evesham. In fact, half of the ***** (or ‘Kevs’) in Evesham have driven from Pershore in their ‘kev-ed up’ dream machines. Usually these are H – G reg escorts, novas, […]
Stourport-On-Severn
Well Stourport-on-severn – what can I say? It is a truly awful place, considered to be a nice little town by brummies who visit every weekend and bank holiday to litter the place with fish and chip wrappers and beer cans. There are no proper shops in Stourport-on-severn. However, it accommodates ***** nicely as it […]
Malvern nr. Worcester
Malvern is the West Midland’s equivilant of Scarborough, or Kirkby Moorside in Yorksherr, simply because by design it should be cobbled streets, horses and whole families dressed up in their finery off to church of a Sunday, but by default it is stuffed to bursting point with go-faster-striped rat-faced ***** toting a one-stop plastic bag […]
Worcester
Worcester is a **** haven, you cannot turn around without there being a **** in your face asking for money or threatening to **** you. Although many look like they live on the streets they seem to have little parts of Worcester dedicated to them and their families. Tolladine, St Johns, Warndon, Ronkswood and Dines […]
Evesham
Possibly one of the worst places for ***** (or Kevs as we call them round here) in the country. I would challenge anyone to visit this town without seeing at least one kev. Forget where they hang out, an easier question to answer would be where they don’t hang out. Allday’s carpark, Halford’s carpark, McDonald’s […]
Worcester
Welcome to Worcester, the ancient **** capital of the **** ******** West Midlands. From the derelict and depressing Angel Place in the centre of town, to the sprawling Council ****-Estates of Warndon, Brickfields, Ronkswood and Dines Green, this once proud old city now stands as a monument to all that **** culture embraces. A visitor […]
Kidderminster
In my many years of working around the country I have never encountered somewhere so chavved-up as Kidderminster (Worcestershire). Unfortunately I happen to work in a building above the local “Social” so a **** is never far away. The police are called at least once a week when a **** is refused their “giro” and […]
Redditch
It is badly maintained, scruffy, delapidated, graffiti scribbled, and has no less than 3 Mc Donalds (one now closed and derelict). It has a soulless indoor shopping mall which is lined with nike, adidas, just do it, **** wearing trollops and lard arses. It has 2 ‘pound shops’. It has a war memorial which has […]
Worcester
If, and probably when, England becomes a **** nation, and King Jason and Queen Chelsea are sitting on a burberry throne, the capital will surely move to Worcester. The city centre contains everything for your modern-day ****. Argos, Index, McDonalds… The main hangout is indeed the latter, where smoking ****, the cheaper the better, spitting […]
