Cobham: A hole once you see past the nice facade

Living in Cobham, Surrey

Cobham is a town full of posh mummies who walk around carrying skinny lattes and tottering around in ridiculously high heels with handbag dogs. In the main high street you have waitrose. If you aren’t going into waitrose to buy premium stuff you are looked down as a piece of sh*t by some of the […]

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Weybridge the wealthy town, but that’s just the council

Living in Weybridge, Surrey

Weybridge has always been seen as a wealthy town, a town for the rich and famous to reside but having lived in weybridge for quite a few years, it would seem [in the author’s personal view and not that of iLiveHere, take note EMC legal] the only real wealth is Elmbridge Borough Council. The rich […]

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Stoneleigh: residents ought to be stoned!

Living in Stoneleigh, Epsom, Surrey

When buying our property in Stoneleigh, the estate agent bragged that “it’s such a nice place to live because there are no council flats here.” That pretty much sums up the attitude of the residents; working class folk who somehow think that they’ve “made it” and are holier than thou because they’re living in Stoneleigh. […]

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Epsom: the not-so-salubrious suburb

Living in Epsom, Surrey

If you’re a young professional attracted by the hour-ish commute to central London, STAY AWAY. Epsom can be characterised by walking down the road to the station and being gassed by the permanent smell of weed. Good luck opening your windows because it’ll come into your flat and make everything stink. Expect to be cat […]

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Weybridge: a quaint commuter belt town, ruined!

Living in Weybridge, Surrey

Ah, another beautiful day down in Weybridge is coming to a close. As I gaze upon the silhouettes of the sun kissed high street, I can’t help but wonder if its the ***** who have ruined this quaint commuter belt stop, or the upper middle class children who idolise them. You see, in order to […]

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Guildford: What has become of you?

Living in Guildford, Surrey

Guildford, oh Guildford. What has become of you? Once lauded as the glorious beating heart of “leafy Surrey”; a jewel in the crown of the Home Counties, Guildford is now a relatively unpleasant place to live. To start, we have one of the worst local councils in recorded British history. A veritable financial black hole. […]

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Farnham – Surrey’s snootiest town

Living in Farnham, Surrey

Is your son called “Alfie”? Is your daughter called “Molly”? Do you like to say their names very loudly in Waterstones at least 6 times in one sentence, e.g. “Alfie darling, you like this book don’t you Alfie, shall we buy it Alfie? You’d like that wouldn’t you Alfie? Molly come here darling, look at […]

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Woking: good train links to London apart from that it’s a sh*thole

Living in Woking, Surrey

Woking is a large town in the centre of Surrey. It is only known for having good train links to London. Other than that, Woking is a complete sh*thole. Woking is home to some of the worst addresses including Sheerwater, Maybury and Knaphill, all littered with *****- usually aged 8 or so, acting like some […]

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Hinchley Wood (Clarkson was right)

Living in Hinchley Wood, Surrey

What can I say about Hinchley Wood? Safe, quaint, tame, beautiful suburban promised land to those tired of slumming it out in some inner city sh*thole and dreaming of a new life in the ‘country” (I cringe whenever someone associates where I live with the country). To the people actually living here under the age […]

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West Byfleet, a town dominated by rich middle class *****

Living in West Byfleet, Surrey

West Byfleet, a town dominated by rich middle class ***** living in neighbourhoods such as dartnell park. The offical car of west byfleet is a merc or an audi, if you have neither you clearly dont belong here. Pointless shops such as Heather Forster and the numerous restaurants along the highstreet struggle to compete against […]

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