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Didcot, Oxfordshire

Didcot, oh Didcot, what can I say? Possibly the ********* town in the UK (with the exception of Telford), the shopping “centre” is a row of about 100 shops, including such delights as 2 cheap hardware/plastic doll shops, a butcher selling bumper packs of anything and everything, a Peacocks (girl **** clothing), a Badgers (bloke […]

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Littlehampton

Any one who has got within two miles of this South Coast mistake will have noticed how the car drivers get younger, their stereos louder, and their ability to smoke weed; listen to ‘banging’ house toooons; swear at passing motorists; and wear mail order clothes all at the same time. You can enter the town […]

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Witney, Oxfordshire

I spent my adolescence here, and I can report that it is full of ***** (or “Scuffers” to use the local slang term). If you come in via Oxford, you will go past the scuffer-tastic Cogges Estate, where the more normal (ie non-council house) Manor Road and Oxlease are nestled twixt the scrotey houses of […]

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Totton

This has to be the ********* town in the country. Not only voted the most boring town in the country by a national newspaper. It overrun with ***** and their little *****. **** central is the McDonalds in the Asda where Burberry and Von “I’d like to kick you where it hurts” Dutch is the […]

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Portsmouth

The ***** here. as another person pointed out are annoying. But I am guessing he is in his 20’s. ****’s here… are odd, Simply put. Take the school I went to for 4 long dead years, the city of Chavmouth ***** school for boys, They will take the piss out of you for any reason, […]

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Chatham

Chatham is in Southern Kent, and is surrounded by: Rochester Maidstone Strood and Walderslade Undoubtedly a town saturated in *****. Everywhere you go, you see **** guys smoking at each other or starting a fight with the hot dog man; he’s only trying to earn a living. Either that or you’re busy trying to work […]

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Dover

Dover and its inhabiting ***** are an overlooked hotbed of scally-ism and general gutter filth. Dover is my home town. Dover used to be a hub of industry, thriving ferry and hover ports, the local paper mill supplied jobs for thousands. The mill shut down and the ferry and hover ports have suffered because of […]

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Milton Keynes

The Land That Taste Forgot. The town that claims it’s a city. The thousand roundabouts on the grid road system all offer up hiding holes (by way of the underpass) for the young **** to seek some shelter for the purpose of skinning up or pushing their loved ones around in abandoned shopping trolleys. The […]

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Chesham, Bucks

Chesham is a lovely place, it has a park and a war memorial and… well its got a park. It is somewhat spoilt though by kev type peoples, a big favourite for them seems to be McDonalds and the surrounding area, i can think of nothing i’d like more than to spend all day outside […]

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Sittingbourne – a bleak wasteland between the M2 & the Isle of Sheppey

Living in Sittingbourne, Kent

One of my earliest memories is that of a train journey with my mother and grandfather. As the train pulled into Sittingbourne, my grandfather read the sign and growled “hmmmmm….Shittingbourne more like! He then began to sing a song which had the first line “Chaversham and Shittingbourne where all the ******* live”. My mother hushed […]

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Isle of sheppey

Kent… The garden of England, one of the most beautifulist places in England to be infact. But with gardens comes unwanted things, the one part of your garden you avoid. This is the isle of sheppy. The island (thank god its that) is off the coast of kent and is a spawning ground for townies. […]

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