Carlisle- Where we’re closed minded t**ts!

Carlisle, Property guide and city review

Ahh, Carlisle. The sights, the smells, the wonderful fast food outlets. And if you’re very lucky, on your visit to this historical town, you might NOT see the resident species. *****. They’re everywhere. Street corners, Mcdonalds, The Lanes seating area. Even Woolworths is ********. Experience the thrill of walking into town and having such colourful […]

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Carlisle

O yes its carlisles turn, and b4 u ask i no the ‘irony’ of my name! For all you people who have constantly slagged off wigton HAVE YOU EVEN BEEN TO CARLISLE. yes i realise wigton is full of ***** but come on look at this…. we have raffles, currock and harraby – or scarraby […]

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Whitehaven

Whitehaven is a town of ****’s, not only today but years that have passed before without a name for it. I lived in Whitehaven in the days on the MRP yes you have it, “the Mirehouse (pronounced Mirus) Rave Posse”, the Whitehouse was in all its glory with balcony and fake statue of liberty. Queue’s […]

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Penrith

Penrith, on the outside is a wonderfull town on the edge of the lake district, on the inside a crappy small little town full of wanabbe *****/framers. If you are not a **** or a farmer you are an outsider and feared by the local community due to your normalness (BE WARNED). Most of he […]

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wigton, cumbria

Wigton is, upon first sight, a wonderful west cumbrian town, full of old Georgian buildings, no traffic, a wonderful place to live. wrong. west cumbria has a huge amount of *****, and wigton is no exception. my theory is, when UCB films opened that big factory, the funny smell (locally known as the wigton stench) […]

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Workington is the armpit of Cumbria

Living in Workington, Cumbria

Ah, I have noticed that an esteemed person has already noted Workington for its chavtasticness. Well, I think that it is my duty to the world to add to this. Simply Workington is the c**v armpit of Cumbria. Everyone knows that, they all congregate in their c**v-mobiles ever weekend by the bowling alley which is […]

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Whitehaven

Ah…good ol’ Whitehaven where ***** and proud mulletiers can be found to be standing side by side insulting anyone who dares to look up from the chewing gum carpet that is the pavement. Yes, we all love Whitehaven…that is why I am going to write a **** guide to a day out in the wonderful […]

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Carlisle, so bad the Scots don’t want it back!

Living in Carlisle, Cumbria

Where can a person start when talking about the all-round classiness of a place locally known as, without irony, ‘The Great Border City’? Well let me try and sell it to you: 1) – For those who find the local  Aldi a bit upmarket, we have a Lidl chock to the brim with home brand […]

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