Horden: Never make the same mistake as I did

Living in Horden, County Durham

Never make the same mistake as I did. Moving to this old mining town solely because of the housing crisis in London, has cost me my sanity. The housing is very poor, and for sure I have seen better squats around the UK. The houses that are not boarded up are smashed, and the ones […]

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The Hell That Is Sunderland

Living in Sunderland, Tyne and Wear

I have to tell you of the Hell I witnessed called Sunderland. I was drawn there by an online romance. To get to my girlfriends house I had to drive through a salubrious little hamlet called PENNYWELL. I have seen a woman on the street in a dressing gown screaming obscenities at a man covered […]

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Huddersfield: Entropy in action

Living in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire

Welcome to Huddersfield, the traffic light centre of England, where there are more taxis per capita than any other town in the UK, all driven by people that drive to different set of rules on its crater-strewn roads. (I heard Kirklees was short-listed by NASA to test the Mars Rover). Back in time, prior to […]

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Heaven and Hull

Living in Hull, East Yorkshire

Never been there before today, didn’t believe all the adverse comments but **** me WHAT A SH*THOLE. **** empty shops with useless staff, food takeaways serving cold **** and none of the tech works to order and pay for your Big Mac (no names, no packdrill); empty arcades; dirty water. And then there are the […]

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Dinnington – **** end of the Universe

Living in Dinnington, Yorkshire

Dinnington is an absolute sh*thole, very much reminiscent of the bottom of a municipal bin that’s growing maggots and stinks of.. well we don’t don’t what it is, but every now and then you get a whiff. More than likely the decaying stench of broken prams, mattresses and mouldy decaying sofas, that readily line the […]

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Dearne Valley (Valley of Death!)

Living in Dearne Valley, South Yorkshire

Allegedly cast out of Barnsley, Doncaster and Rotherham probably 200 years ago, I was told by a Minister, “non-conformists” were not allowed to take up residence any closer than 7 miles to any of these towns. Goldthorpe, equidistant from these three towns, therefore looks very much like a “non-conformist settlement”, and is probably why the […]

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Ferryhill: full of jobless drugged up muppets

Living in Ferryhill, County Durham

Ferryhill is full of jobless drugged up muppets, who like nothing better than getting stoned, high, drunk or all three and fighting because they’ve got nothing else better to do. Ferryhill is full of fast food places and also has a GREGGS. Parents pick their kids up from school at 3:15pm still in their pyjamas. […]

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Ferryhill: What an absolute heap

Living in Ferryhill, County Durham

Ferryhill grew during the coal mining years, around the turn of the 20th century. Situated south west of Durham, it is surrounded by other sh*tholes, such as Chilton, Spennymoor, Bishop Auckland, and Kirk Merrington. The housing reflects most of the people that live there; with most of the houses in this little patch of **** […]

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Keighley: a portrait of a town at its very worst

Living in Keighley, West Yorkshire

So when you walk into Keighley, the first thing you’ll see is gum and spit everywhere. Your first step will already have gum on your shoes and in your hair (somehow). Don’t go to any of the shops, inside you’ll find that they are filled with teenage drug dealers. Also don’t go onto Cavendish street […]

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Keighley: the most depressing and dull place I’ve ever encountered

Living in Keighley, Yorkshire

“You’re not local, are you?” I couldn’t make it up… I’ve just returned from my second and last visit to Keighley. I have never encountered such a depressing, unfriendly and dull place in my life. The more time I spent there, the more I felt I was trapped in some groundhog day loop of repeating […]

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Seahouses: they only let you see what they want you to see

Living in Seahouses, Northumberland

Oh dear, Seahouses is a quite a village! You would never expect that such a small village could have such a shallow gene pool! Everyone talks about how beautiful it is, the coast, the sea, but no one is telling you of the horror! People in white vans try to challenging anyone on a race, […]

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A list of **** that you will have seen growing up in Hull

Living in Hull, East Yorkshire

Hull… *sigh* I was born in Hull, and lived there for 19 years until I decided I didn’t want to live in such a draining place anymore. This article is based on my overall reflection on what it was like to grow up in Hull, the list features some specifics, that some may argue could […]

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