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I can’t believe there’s no entry on this site for Morden. Let me enlighten you…… Morden, Surrey is situated at the end of the Northern Line and is but a short drive in a souped-up Nova from the **** strongholds of Sutton (AKA Slutton) and Mitcham. The filthy ***** of Morden congregate in the main […]

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I am sick of Croydon

oh god where do i start? when they’re not working in one of the shops they’re ******* about around those shops, or outside croydon college instead of inside learning, so that they can get out of that **** hole, and when they do they talk loudly in the library when theres a dozen better places […]

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Wimbledon may be the home of such bastions of respectability as the All England tennis club and strawberries and cream, but the mushrooming population of chavsters bredding out of control all over saaaaaaaf london has infiltrated even this, the leafiest of London’s suburbs. Wimbledon Village, the old part of town with the boutique shops, tea […]

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Townies, Kevs, ****** ***** and Tea Leafs.. all in Pitcher & Piano or Slug & lettuceRichmond… what can one say about this hive of bacchanalian debauchery? What was once a beautiful riverside suburban town is now being overrun by *****, ****** and spides. They seem to populate the pubs and bars (that used to be […]

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The Shitgift Centre (whitgift) Croydon Wheeling a robbery victim out of the Shitgift Centre who had had her 84yr old hip broken I heard the loving ******** mum of a 6yr old zooant* shout “Nathan! put your ******* hood up” It was raining. The zooant replied “why, mum? Is there cameras?” *zooant = a small […]

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I lost my virginity in McDonnalds in Croydon one saturday afternoon when I was about 13. Now I’m on TV almost every day, so it didn’t do me no harm. When I was a lad there were only 2 McDonnalds in Croydon. These days there’s about 5. If that’s not political correctness gone mad I […]

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Ahh, Croydon – king of all **** towns, famous for finishing in the Top 10 of the **** Towns and being the only town to feel “robbed” by their finish… A place famous throughout the UK for being a **** hole and got beaten by somewhere like Telford in it’s bid to become a ******, […]

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South Norwood

I’ve lived a fairly sheltered life in terms of having no ****-like qualities and coming from a respectable area where we didn’t have any ****** neighbours… and then I got pally with a girl when I had to regularly phone the company where she was employed as a PA, we decided we should go out […]

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