Crawley is like looking what the cat coughed up and pissed all over

Crawley, West Sussex, Property guide and review

Cesspit, ********, cat-sick-slobber – there are many names for Crawley. Some call it the Armpit of the South, I’d go further than that. I’d say it’s the infected spot in the Armpit of the South. My two friends and I were so pleased when we discovered that Crawley had not been missed off the list […]

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Dunstable

I have now completed a year working in the Dunstable area and any day now I am expecting the Queen to summon me for my knighthood. Dunstable has to be one of the worst towns in the country. It has more taxi drivers than people, I swear I was asked if I needed a taxi (although […]

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Beddau – Welsh For Satan’s ****!

Living in Beddau, Wales

To those of you that have never had the displeasure of visiting the **** ***** stain of humanity called ‘Beddau’ situated a bus ride from the other **** hellhole known as Pontypridd (translates as Sh1tdump on the Taff), I bid you a warm welcome to the carbuncle of **** known as the place what I, […]

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Newton Heath, Manchester, put simply is the ****-end of the world

Living in Newton Heath, Manchester

Newton Heath, put simply, is the ****-end of the world. There are a lot of piss stained, beer soaked swillings of towns reviewed on this site but I can honestly promise you, they are nothing compared to the blight on the UK that is Newton Heath. Situated in the North of Manchester, it is perilously […]

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Spondon

Spondon has long been the fortress of Derby to the **** mongrols, but is slowly being taken over by the **** scurge. Spondon is an odd place, as half of the suburb is a stinking **** hole of a council estate – with such delights as plastic garden ornaments on roofs (perferably from argos) and […]

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Catrine, the village of the damned

Living in Catrine

A small village near Kilmarnock, – a town which in itself deserves an article in this web site – Catrine sees itself as an ‘historic mill town’. This may be true but it is not an accurate description of the village. Catrine is a ned town (the word ‘ned’, is the Scottish equivalent of the […]

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