Someone once had a great idea that rather than solve the inner city lack of council housing by rejuvenating derelict pockets in London, because mainly they couldn’t be arsed and wanted to offload the old bigoted flat cap cockney, they decided to spill over the riffraff and insert them into the newly built concrete country […]
Category: Satire
Weybridge: a quaint commuter belt town, ruined!
Ah, another beautiful day down in Weybridge is coming to a close. As I gaze upon the silhouettes of the sun kissed high street, I can’t help but wonder if its the ***** who have ruined this quaint commuter belt stop, or the upper middle class children who idolise them. You see, in order to […]
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Plymouth, the toilet of England
When I left a Glasgow 12 years ago, for a fresh start in Plymouth I didn’t think you could get much worse.. Oh how wrong I was. On the edge of the “River Tamar” with Cornwall bordering, famous for pasties and being the only county where you someone can introduce you to their aunt, wife, […]
Clacton-On-Sea: a pure warning!
You may be thinking of coming to Clacton, think again, Clacton is absolute s***. It’s filled with horrible little kids who think they are the best, they break shop windows, start fights and cause havoc to everyone. I don’t know where their parents are but they must be somewhere. Don’t be tricked by the pier. […]
Bexleyheath – a hive of villainy
So, I live in Bexleyheath. Growing up it used to be an okay town, it wasn’t too bad and there wasn’t enormous amounts of crime (not from my memory at least). I am now 20, and this area has completely changed. It is the hive of all villainy in the galaxy. Yobs, gangsters, roadmen and […]
Why not to live in Ramsgate
Ramsgate – a town that has so much to make it a great place to live. Beautiful beaches, pretty harbour, nice architecture. It also has a dirty town centre frequented by drunks at all times of day, lots of mobility scooters driven by lardy lumps sometimes driving one handed, holding a *** or a can […]
Leicester: feel threatened by the sheer amount of ‘Roadmen’
Ahhhh, Leicester, where does one begin? When taking a stroll through town, one cannot help but feel threatened by the sheer amount of what are commonly known as ‘Roadmen’. This is another word for ne’er-do-wells. Now, let it be known – When I say ne’er-do-wells, I do not refer to the poor, simply those who […]
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Huddersfield: Entropy in action
Welcome to Huddersfield, the traffic light centre of England, where there are more taxis per capita than any other town in the UK, all driven by people that drive to different set of rules on its crater-strewn roads. (I heard Kirklees was short-listed by NASA to test the Mars Rover). Back in time, prior to […]
Leigh: A Hive of Villainy in Lesser Manchester
I moved to Leigh by accident about 18 months ago after my husband and I made the rookie first time buyer error of being lured by a big house for a low price, without really researching the area properly first. Big mistake. Don’t get me wrong, the house is great (well it is now after […]
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Cwmbran: it’s ok if you like Greggs
My god where to even start with this utter slum. Cwmbran is set deep within the barren wastelands of South Wales, sticking out of its surroundings like a particularly sore haemorrhoid from an un-wiped ****. It is fringed by the delightful spa town of Newport to the south and the thriving social hubs of Ebbw […]
Dartford: once a thriving market town, now in decline
The once thriving market town of Dartford has been a cesspit for almost two decades now. As gentrification sweeps more and more of South London, more and more inner city ne’er-do-wells are pushed into its borders, primarily Dartford, making the place seem more like a rough South London borough, but at the same time the […]
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Burscough: Scraping the Bottom of the Barrel
Where do I start with this awful town, pushed slap-bang in the middle of the polar opposites Rufford (full of posh people) and Ormskirk (full of ne’er-do-wells)? First things first, the **********. There’s an article on Burscough which talks quite a lot about Burscough’s “Bad Breeding” (which was the name of the article), so I […]
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