Mill End: inches from the cancerous smog of junction 17 on the M25

Living in Mill End, Rickmansworth, Hertfordshire

Emerging just centimetres from the cancerous smog of junction 17 on the M25, sits an old council estate going by the mind-bendingly imaginative name of Mill End. It nestles, like an infected yellow head, on the boarder of South West Herts and South Bucks, and breeds toothless simpletons, social disease and gonorrhoea like a scene […]

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East Kilbride – slice of hell cut off from civilisation

Living in East Kilbride, Scotland

This is posted as someone who moved to East Kilbride 2.5 years ago temporarily and will soon be leaving, by the grace of all that is holy. As a ‘new town’ in the 60’s and 70’s East Kilbride originally attracted lots of industry workers and their families. However due to the mammoth distance of 10 […]

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Plymouth: England’s Cesspit

Living in Plymouth, Devon, South West

Well as my last article titled “Plymouth, the toilet of England” seemed so popular with the locals and even the so called “local newspaper” the Plymouth Live, well I say local, does news in Kent count as local? But anyway, let’s getting into the article. Today I will be focusing on other less salubrious areas, […]

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Chatham: the dog sh*t splattered patio of the Garden of England

Living in Chatham, Kent

Medway actually has a fair bit going for it. The North Downs and the River Medway on its borders, castles, forts, and cathedrals amongst its towns. It’s a testament to the residents commitment to crapness that, despite these draws, Medway remains the dog-**** splattered patio of the Garden of England. For reasons no one can […]

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Llandudno Junction: Haven for the primitive folk

Living in Llandudno Junction, Wales

Llandudno is a great town which is full of culture. Deganwy is nice and posh with its marina. Conwy is a magnificent town with its castle and walls. There is a town nearby however which feels like it is in a foreign country or in another time. This town is Llandudno Junction. The high street […]

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Stoke On Trent – A place devoid of intelligence

Living in Stoke On Trent, Staffordshire

I lived in Stoke-On-Trent for three years, and worked there for over 10, and there’s one irrefutable truth about the place that has remained unchanged for all that time – the place is a complete sh*thole, and the people really are as thick as pig sh*t. It’s not that their accents make them sound braindead […]

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Smacklesfield… I mean Macclesfield

Living in Macclesfield, Cheshire

When you hear of Cheshire you think or footballers and housewives right? Well until you enter Macclesfield aka WannaBe Manchester. The town centre is empty, all you have to see for entertainment is homeless people (may I add they they were set on fire not so long ago). Then there’s the drugs. Oh yes EVERYONE […]

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Dover Lifestyle

Living in Dover, Kent

Open Drug dealing is normally excepted in Dover. Crack and smack are easier to find than a good restaurant. Even the former mayor was filmed enjoying toilet substances. The local authority is [certainly not] considered the most corrupt by other local councils. My son was mugged in a park on camera nothing happened. Girlfriend beaten […]

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Ferryhill: the town’s female population are permanently pregnant

Living in Ferryhill, County Durham

Ferryhill is a small, former pit village in South West Durham with a population of around ten thousand. A typical terraced house can be purchased for about the same price as the weekly shop in any town in the Home Counties. Unfortunately they’re still overpriced due to the high concentration of pond life who reside […]

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Salisbury: hole of Wiltshire

Living in Salisbury, Wiltshire, England

I have lived here for the past 17 years and have been witness to many unfortunate changes. Salisbury has always been renowned locally for being dodgy and generally **** but, in the last few years, things have really gotten worse. So much worse, in fact, that most people I know here avoid the town centre […]

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Chichester: The Hyacinth Bucket of the South

Living in Chichester, West Sussex

Chichester is a city with delusions of grandeur. It wants to be Bath, Oxford or Winchester. It cannot hope to match the cultural significance of these, or the affluence of the towns and cities such as Petersfield, Haslemere and Guildford with their direct commuter routes to London. It has a large student population but cannot […]

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Portsmouth: O.M.F.G.

Living in Portsmouth, Hampshire

I’m from a bad estate in a big city and I thought I’d seen it all. Then, one day, I went to Portsmouth. OMFG. Never before in all my years, walking through a city centre in daylight, had I felt intimidated. (Let’s just repeat that fact; it was Saturday afternoon. It was NOT midnight. It […]

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