Plymouth, when people hear this name they instantly think of green and a lighthouse, Unfortunately this is not the case, the city is full of uneducated ingrates who struggle to spell their own name. Meeting someone who was born Plymouth or Cornwall who has an IQ score of more than 60 is a rare pleasure, […]
Category: Satire
Sutton Coldfield – Where good taste goes to die
There’s no other way to describe Sutton Coldfield other than a dump. It’s a mixture of ne’er-do-wells and nouveau riche idiots who think class is having stone lions and fake pillars at the front of their house. There are more white range rovers, hair extensions and fake tan than at a Irish traveller wedding. Another […]
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Colchester: A Shameful Essex Dump
Colchester, Christ, where to begin with this absolute dump? As with most big towns, it’s the people that let this place down. I’ve lived in a few different places and **** me this has to be the worst. It has become so overcrowded, depressing and has seriously gone down hill in the past few years. […]
Market Drayton = Full Spectrum Grief Pit
Here I am in a place I fear i will never escape. A place equal to and greater than the famed Royston Vasey. On paper Market Drayton should be a nice quiet town to live… WRONG. How did I get it so god damn wrong? I have entered the ‘SH*T-LOOP’. The Yokels What makes Market […]
Glenrothes and why God is a cruel, cruel man
Glenrothes is truly one of a kind. One of a kind in the sense that you could never make a town as terrible and rotten if you tried. If you ever (unfortunately) find yourself in Glenrothes, Fret not! We have plenty of bridges to hurl yourself off! But before you decide that life may not […]
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Wiveliscombe: sh*te rolled down hill and collected in one glorious cesspit
Wiveliscombe in Somerset: Well where do you start? Often described in the glossy tourist brochures (I jest – there are no glossy tourist brochures!) as ‘The Gateway to Exmoor, nestling in an amphitheatre of glorious surrounding hills’. Instead what we find is that all that collective sh*te from those glorious surrounding hills (and by heck […]
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Dawlish Warren, Devon… a.k.a Watership Downer
Dawlish Warren is marketed by the tourist board as a traditional seaside resort for family, fun holidays. They haven’t visited in the past 20 years evidently, and failed to notice it is really Royston Vasey in disguise. I swear the League of Gentlemen was inspired by this place. Summer In the summer it is full […]
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Wootton Bassett… an offence to my name
I was unfortunate enough to move to Wootton Bassett as a 16 year old. Don’t be fooled by the Tudor library on the high street, or the word “Royal” that has been put in front of the name of this toilet town. A few posters have already commented about the people that represent 99% of […]
Wrexham – a terrifying spice-zombie filled cesspit
If you enjoy horror movies, you’re going to love Wrexham. Once a popular shopping hub, that brought in people from far and wide with their choice of shops, to a terrifying zombie filled cesspit. Bodies line the pavement and fill shop doorways. Twitching, groaning and whispers of “spice”. Shops are long closed and boarded up, […]
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Rotherham than me…
Having lived and worked in many places around England including Middlesbrough, Sunderland, Preston (Depreston!), Leigh, Bootle & Great Yarmouth, all of which have their problems, I have to say that you have no idea just how piss poor a town can be. I was born and bred in Rotherham. I spent the first 25 years […]
Plymouth, it’s only down from here
I’ve lived in Plymouth for 13 years in January. Being born in one of the most dangerous cities in the UK, you would think you couldn’t get much worse, well you would be wrong. As you enter the city the first thing you see is “WELCOME TO PLYMOUTH, BRITAIN’S OCEAN CITY” Well for a start […]
Peterborough: oh for a nuclear bomb (or a really big bulldozer)
Peterborough. Well, what can I say about it? Like many other places in Britain it has very little left now that is culturally significant. St John’s church, the Cathedral and the Bull Hotel. Nothing else. The heart of this small (but nice) little place was ripped out in the 60’s and 70’s in the name […]
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