Tilbury, a God-forsaken town of disgruntled, rancorous d*ckheads

Living in Tilbury, Essex

Amidst the glitz and glamour that Essex is ostensibly known for, there lies towns that differ from that image. Tilbury is a pertinent example of those ‘towns’. I’m reluctant to even call it a ‘town’. It doesn’t deserve that title. I think somewhere along the lines of ‘cess pit’, ‘slum’, ‘shantytown’ would be more appropriate. […]

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Harlow, Essex’s answer to Pripyat

Living in or moving to Harlow, Essex

What to say about Harlow…a place that new town planners had taken their primordial scalpel to and butchered leaving characterless housing estates and banal shrines of grey concrete that for some reason were supposed to represent progression, prosperity and modernism. For example Terminus House, a huge monstrosity at the epicentre of the town that both […]

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Romford is commonly referred to as ‘**** town’

Living in Romford

Romford is commonly referred to as ‘**** town’ and i’ve heard that a number of times when people have asked me where i’m from. The thing is, it’s hard to dislike Romford – it’s a slice of fried gold next door to Dagenham and gangster paradise Ilford. But, it’s notorious for a lot of really […]

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Ode to Basildon

Basildon, Essex, Property guide and review

Some people don’t know that they’re born. How can they possibly class largely middle-class Essex communities such as Billericay and Brentwood as “c**v towns,” when the mother of them all, the capital city of Chavdom and South Essex’s own Gotham City lies menacingly just over the horizon? They simply aren’t in the same league. In […]

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Great Notley

Great Notley is definitely part of Chavland. However it is a suttle part. Many of the ***** here try to pretend not to be *****. They try to put on airs and graces but they betray themselves carelessly because of their ignorance. They call lavatories "toilets" and napkins "serviettes" and so on, but try to […]

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Harlow, Essex

Upon finding this website, i noticed that there was split ideas on the town of Harlow, Essex. Yes there are Yobs, *****, Thugs, ****** and alike. But i am here to tell a story. 10 years ago, my family moved from what has been described in the past as “THE worst place in the universe” […]

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Maldon and heybridge

Maldon and heybridge, two joint towns, when people first see these towns, they think its a nice, peacefull place. they couldnt be more wrong. it is actually a degenerating ********, overrun with *****. so lets start with maldon. the bigger of the two towns, top **** hangouts: West Maldon community centre: on a friday night this […]

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