Castle Market, Sheffield (AGAIN)….. Come friendly bulldozers

North EastYorkshire

Newcomers to Sheffield Hallam University City Campus this year beware of Castle Market. Or the uninformed……

Buses calling at an equally dire area of the city centre called “The Moor” and “T’ Manor” (as it is locally known and both are covered hilariously well by other reviewers) pass through this area, where the wearing of blindfolds should be made compulsory. It may help to protect your eyes should any fatherless scallies be shining lazer pens off the upper walkways of the dilapidated 1960’s buildings or the footbridge at passers by.

This area contains everything necessary for a stable ****/******** existence – KFC and Burger King, plus 3 branches of Greggs and another local bakery called Cooplands, Heron and Jack Fultons plus the ubiquitous Cash Generators, Quicksilver gambling arcade and social should the **** require a salary advance. Wilkinsons to furnish the inside of their council flats on which a years rent is owed, Primark, Ethel Austin, discount footwear store, plus good ol’ Argos, where the fake soverigns may be obtained. and the hellhole of Castle Market itself, where apart from the usual **** ****, such as fake burberry and for “women” the crappy tractor tyre earrings and “Men are like toilets. the good ones are taken, the rest are full of ****” t-shirts usually worn by overweight ********* having the personality and IQ of an empty can of special brew, some kindly trader may be dealing in stolen reebok classics from last nights warehouse raid, providing their purchaser with faster acceleration so they can evade coppers and security guards when legging it out of the magistrates court cos they’ve breached their bail etc….

How grim is your Postcode?

As there is less CCTV in this part of town too, sheffield’s vagrants tend to find their home here, utilising upper level shop doorways or staircases of the dodgy 1960s architecture. its not uncommon to see vomit on the pavements or people pissing in shop doorways. Still, I suppose it makes a change from them being used by single parents to smack their kids senseless…..

Remember the episode of “A Life of Grime” where there were **** at the back of an Indian takeaway in a street called Wicker? well, thats very close to castle market and they also supply the meat to a lot of takeaways on that street. One look round that meat market and anytime hunger strikes – you’ll be straight to Sainsburys!!

Avoid this area at all costs. Unless you happen to be driving a bulldozer.

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