Carstairs

If ever there is a place the muslims could blow themselves up and do some good at the same time is Carstairs, apart from the nut house state hospital, this place is probably the most god forsaken cowpat on the face of the earth, it is a village in 3 parts so not really a town (Lanark is 3 miles away), but nevertheless it is a place that is populated mostly by ******, drugged up **** that really should be ************ if only to save on CO2!  You all think your towns are bad, well you should try this little place for size, its got the usual features of senga munters pushing prams with their trainee **** in them, they have them smoking joints by the time they’re 3, they put Buckfast in the feeding bottle, shouldn’t be a problem as it was introvenusly fed during the pregnancy, their first word will probably be ‘****’ or ‘****’ or possibly even ‘ere you!’, its certainly got ****, crawling with them, even the pensioners are **** in Carstairs, not unusual for a Carstairs OAP incumbant to be wearing a New York Yankees baseball cap instead of a more traditional bunnet and just as lippy as any 16 year old tracksuited lump of *****. The propensity for this abuse being hurled at you is very high, especially if they find out your not ‘fae carstairs’ or karnwoth, because then you are from the outside, you aren’t to be trusted, just one thing in a long line of things where normal logic and rationale do not apply. Most of it is council or ex council ‘we’ve bought wir hoose’ repleate with gaudy plastic mock  bay windows and dazzling white plastic front door on this **** built 1950’s semi with roughcast falling off! There is even the legend of the Buckfast bottle being flung at a bus so hard that it smashed through one window and smashed out of the window at other side, because the **** here are braindead when sober, which is rare, and turn positively neolithic on buckfast coupled with weed, if you ever wondered what it was like to live in prehistoric times with the dawn of man then this must give you a fair idea, there is no way that these people are modern day, 21st century, homosapiens, even people in the congo are of higher intelligence than this shower of neanderthallic troglodytes! So please do yourself a favour, if you ever find yourself in South Lanarkshire, take great care to avoid this prehistoric ned cave, and Biggar just down the road for that matter, the same people with a plummy accent and pretense of intelligence and money.

How grim is your Postcode?