Canadian ***** in Cuba

Outside the UK

I thought Chavness only applied to Britain, however after spending a fortnight in Cayo Coco in Cuba I was proved completely wrong. The good thing they say about Cuba is that Americans cannot go there, well even Americans have more class, dignity and dress sense than Canadians. Most are fat – yes similar to Americans but Canadians are the most arrogant, loud mouthed, tight arsed, racist, ill mannered, badly dressed, ignorant, ******** and annoying people I have ever met on holiday. All these traits are similar to those of *****.

Give me scouse scallies, cockney *******, fat geordies, gruff opinionated yorkshire people any day of the week over these horrible specimens. Most believe that they are superior to everyone else, why? – what has Canada ever contributed to the world?. Most believed that the Cubans because they had darker skin than them and earnt less money than them were their personal slaves who should never be rewarded with so much as a please or thank you as they are ********. The Cubans hated them and liked the British because they had more class, manners and actually bothered to tip. I did not notice one Canadian saying please or thank you to anyone.

There were three Canadian weddings at the resort whilst I was staying there, all conducted with the minimum amount of taste and class. None bothered to wear suits, make an effort or act in any dignified manner. There must be no decent shops in Canada as most attendees wore Toronto Blue Jays T-shirts with elasticated jeans, the 5.99 ones that are advertised in sunday paper magazines and Nike trainers. Their idea of dressing up is to wear a Ralph Lauren Polo Shirt with a pair of jeans made after 1985, ironing them is akin to wearing a dinner suit. One even attended the wedding in a T-shirt with a slogan on it saying “Do I look like I give a ****?” on it – classy and you defo don’t mate!. Most toasted the wedding with glasses of local free beer rather than buy champagne. Every loudmouth at the wedding had a speech which dragged the after wedding party out for 3 hours or more.

Most of the ******* from the wedding party turned up on the day and demanded to sue the resort unless they were given priority to the Al a Carte restaurants over all other guests. Despite never booking in advance everyone was shunted out in favour of them just to stop them whining and spending hours at the check in desk recycling the same moans over and over again delaying everyone and pushing in front of people already being seen to.

The night before one of the weddings there was a big massive fight at the bar and the groom who looked like Screech out of Saved By the Bell got banged out by a big massive obese loudmouth, his excuse was “hey everyone, he hit a woman” – no he never, you were arguing about Ice Hockey.

The CanChavs even had the cheek to look down on the British guests who dressed up for the night. I was looked down upon by two fat ****** in Toronto Blue Jays 1999 T-shirts, my crime? – to wear a pair of pants and a Prada shirt.

Most of the CanChavs sat round all day complaining, drinking beer out of big kegs because they were too fat and lazy to go back to the bar, more than likely it was because they wanted to avoid tipping the bar staff. Two fat ***** stapled their arses to the swim up pool bar for the entire two weeks to eat as many burgers and hotdogs as possible while their 6 year old daughter was left to play on her own for the entire holiday, in between eating they smoked as much cigarettes as possible, they must be Canada’s version of Wayne & Wynetta Slobb. A family of 5 random adults made sure they stayed near the burger bar for the 2 weeks – they went home 3 stone heavier and paler than when they got there.

Canadians are very easily excited and constantly shout and scream over the most insignificant event and annoy anyone else within earshot. Getting a beer from the bar is worthy of constant high 5’s and shouting. One lad from Plymouth told them to be quiet and 10 of them lifted his sunbed up and lashed him in the pool – nice, this was a momentous occasion in the world of a CanChav and they were still high 5 ing each other 4 hours after the event.

Their children are more badly behaved than any kids you are likely to meet in Britain. They are fed on a daily diet of hot dogs, burgers and coke making them more hyperactive than the Tasmanian devil on speed. Most screech and shout when they don’t get anything their own way they even throw chairs at their parents if they aren’t indulged straight away. None have any manners and are ridiculously cheeky to their parents and other people they don’t know. Then again, is that their fault when they are set a bad example anyway??

Attempting to communicate with them is a waste of time as most cannot understand anything apart from drinking beer, their **** sports, slagging off Americans, talking about how great they are and how much money they earn. Try talking about how much you weigh, that will take a lot of time.

I was actually thinking of going to Canada on holiday but i’ll give it a miss after this experience.

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