i lived in cambridge for 4 years now and love it. i have a great job, lovely house and a fantastic girlfriend. life is sweet. except for one aspect of cambridge, the chavers. like i said cambridge is a beautiful place and is loads of fun, but it is the only place i know where it’s residents don’t really go out at the weekend. and here’s why, the scrotes who come from every outskirt town or village, who descend on my lovely town every weekend looking for three things, fanny, beer and a fight (not necessarily in that order). from friday night until sunday morning the whole town is awash with cheap aftershave, cheap burberry, blood, aggression, argos gold, button down shirts, over gelled hair, perms (!), kylies, jasons, britneys, and other general inbred swine (usually from newmarket) who pollute my lovely town and i hate it! we live in fear of it! certain bars and clubs have taken the liberty of barring anyone or thing slightly chaverish and god bless them for it, but it’s not enough. they need to be banned from everywhere, build them their own chaver city centre, where they can drink as much as they want, fight whoever they want, or offend whoever they like, and leave us in peace! i cannot say who much i hate these people, they’re the true scum of the earth and responsible for the death of jesus, bambi, ghandi and your granmother.




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