Calne – the toilet town

How to begin about Calne – ah yes, the only good thing about the place is the way out. If you are a resident of calne, your either one of the commuters or you are built into the fabric.
It is truly the only place where people move house down the ******* street! The average person there has an iq that stays in single figures and there really is nothing that you can do about it.
Townies, ***** and Moshers all group up in one little outfit and hang around the town centre like a horde of ill trained baboons. Teenage ***** are bad enough, but these little scrotes are in there twenties and still trying to impress the little girls who hang around.
The usual uniform is ****** little tracksuits, obligatory bling and above all a ******* bmx! Even now, going into the town centre is seeing a horde of idiot ******* children, usually in between 20 and 200 hundred of the little ********.
Fridays and Saturday nights generally consists of a drink or two in the town centre then running a gauntlet of abuse, obstacles and the little twats who decide they want to shove you about, then when you punch the ******* out, you get a visit from the police.
Heroes in Calne generally tend to be the senior smackheads, who regale the junior skaghead section with how hard they are. It’s ********. They pack knives but can’t use them, stink like a toilet for typhus sufferers and really should do us a favour and get a shower.
The only real places to go are the pigs in the town centre and congregating around the outside of the charcoal grill. Sometimes they will have firework riots and generally intimidating families is another favourite. If they get bored, they hop on a bus to Chippenham and fight the ***** there… Sad Sad little people with nothing better to do.
If there was ever an argument for compulsory sterilisation, the reprobates who hang around the town centre truly are that.

How grim is your Postcode?