Caerfilthy – Home of C**v motorsport. C**v hangouts include:
1. Motorworld – Cheapo c***s congregate to compare car bling
2. Halfords – posh c***s compare lexus lights and body kits
3. The Twyn Car park – see above
4. The lane behind the Cedar Tree – for ‘sound offs’ and year round breeding
5. The Post Office – to collect the benefits innit?
Caerfilthy also has it’s share of 14 year old mums, most often seen on Wednesdays which must be benefit day. A collection of prams (not seen one with lexus lights yet but it’s only a matter of time) generally gathers outside Argos (they’re nothing if not predicatable) where they compare earrings – most attractive pair seen yet were giant gold hoops with “Laura” emblazoned across them. With scrapebacks aplenty they manage to jam up the pavement with their own junior c**v motorsport complete with Burbury pram sets!!
However, Caerfilthy C**v motorsport really comes into its own with the seventeen year old, probably not actually passed their driving test, c***s who constantly circle the town’s one way system in their chavved-up corsas, puntos and other “super” minis. You’ll hear them before you see them though: Scooter’s The Logical Song being their favourite toon, or anything that shakes the pavement as they pass by. Some of them are so stupid that they continue to play the most irritating garage hits even after they’ve blown their speakers. They love to congregate in The Twyn Carpark and show off their c**v mobiles, failing that they’ll head off to the lanes behing the Cedar tree pub (its a pub with a back room “Nightclub”: you’d swear it was purpose built for c***s) for some top quality open air breeding. Class act this lot!!
If that wasn’t enough, head up to Checkmate for C**v boxing: regular c**v fighting, usually over who’s the father of some 13 year old c******e’s chavvy baby.