Buxton teenage turf wars!

Living in Buxton, Derbyshire

Buxton is a nice spa town located in the country surrounded by beautiful views. A town full of tourist attractions, the springs, the old baths, solomons temple, the pavillion gardens, pooles cavern and many more! The town is full of many things to do for a day out. As a tourist Buxton has potential to be a lovely place but as a full time resident no thank you.

As a resident from birth you get put into one of three groups: the “Fairfield Freedom Fighters”, the “Harper Hillbillies” or the “Heavegrove warriors” depending on where you live and usually you’re parents are patriotic and refuse to ever move or even go in enemy territory. (All other sections of Buxton are actually decent areas) Each group has their own park which they drink at from around 4pm till stupid hours in the morning, the “Fairfield Freedom Fighters” run what is known as ‘the new park’ even though it has been there many years located in “The Bronks” (talked about later) and also newly own the Bench Rd park as it’s been recently designs.

“Harper Hillbillies” have took that park from across the road from the park, it’s alright they have an off licence up the road when they can get people to go in for them. And the “Heathgrove warriors” have took a park known as ‘The Rek’. ‘The Rek’ is probably the best establishment out there equip with children’s swings and slides, a skate park, basket ball court, football pitch, a bowls court and an alley full of garages perfect for drop offs.

How grim is your Postcode?

Recently “Fairfield Freedom Fighters” have been migrating to ‘The Rek’ which has resulted in a few batterings but all is alright. To anyone living in Heathgrove, passing ‘The Rek’ is the only way to get out which is always a frightening experience after about 5pm as it is full off 14 year old girls sat with 30 year old adults drinking, playing **** music and shouting abuse at passers by but often only threats. The parks owned by the “Fairfield Freedom Fighters” again 14 year old girls drinking with grown men, normally they make their own music meaning a few lads will make sounds why another is “rapping” about how he ‘****** your mum and your nan’. These people will make threats but will instead of keeping in their spot like the “Heathgrove Warriors” they will come up and get in your face but most likely won’t actually do anything other than shout “******* come on then” and then run away when you go to do something. As I have not ventured into Harper territory for over 10 years other than a quick bypass to Swains I can’t tell you much about it.

(The Bronks, also known as the new estate, **** hole, mostly ******, full of nutters, police present a few times a day, smell of weed present from entry, highly likely to get stabbed for accidental looking at someone, the criminals recently released from prisoner move their when they’re not allowed to live anywhere else.)

The hotspots in Buxton range from shops to food places to benches. A big on located in the middle of Buxton is KFC which is taken over by the ***** after 3:20pm as that is when their school finishes. After this time you can’t walk pass without being should out and be told “Are you looking at me? Do you ******* want some? ******!” The only way you can get past this group is if you should “Areyt mewd!!!” which is a common Buxton greeting and shows you are a true Buxstonian and mean no harm whether you join them or not. In the Fairfield area the topshops and Bench Rd are usually covered being the biggest inconvenience to everyone as the best chippy/Chinese is there with an off licence next door so you can’t get there without being asked “Oi, you got 20p I can have mate?” and if you say “No, sorry” you’re probably gonna get called a range of names from “ugly ****” to “fat ****” and you should probably leave the area.

Another area is the mud ramps in a woodland area located next to where the BMXers go by day and by night the air is filled with the smell of every drug possible and hundreds of teenagers are there out of their head partying. For the legal ***** the market place has pubs and clubs like the Cheese, MYST, Level Two and Harleys, which happen to be **** and are full of 14 year olds who you haven’t a clue how they got in.

After everything though it is still your home but you will always wish you were born in Bakewell.