Once upon a time over a century ago Billy Butlin was born. In his lifetime he opened amusement parks around the United Kingdom each one named Butlins. At the end of his life he was visited by a fairy princess who granted him one wish. His dying wish was that the magic and enchantment of Butlins would continue to survive and spread throughout generations of holiday-makers. The fairy princess took on this responsibility and promised to fulfill his wish.
Years went by and the recoats continued to shine, the funfair continued to thrill and the atmosphere continued to amaze and inspire thousands of people again and again. Who couldn’t enjoy the fun-filled weeks of games and entertainment where guest-participation was obligatory.
However the fairy princess suddenly came across an obstacle. And her name was Chavarina. Chavarina was bored of the fairy princess getting all the limelight and decided it was about time to step forward. So one night when everyone was unawares, she kidnapped the fairy princess and locked her up in the smallest room in the tallest tower of her castle. With her rival out of the way Chavarina was able to carry out her evil plan. She travelled to every Butlins resort she could find and spread her chaviscum far and wide.
Not only did this affect the appearance of both the resort and the Butliners, but it also changed the way they spoke and acted. Creating a cold, cheap atmosphere. Gone were the days where you could walk around alone ejoying the beauty and peace of the surroundings. For now a new breed had taken over the Butlins resort. A breed that was destined to be the future of Butlins holidays and some fear will soon be taking over the world. These are the chavs. A destructive force whose mission is to drag outsiders down to there level and terrorise those who refuse to conform.
They first decided that there uniform should be top of the market. And what else could it be, but kappa shellsuits equipt with blinding white trainers. Burbury hats are a necessity and they should accessorsie their fashionable outfit with as much cheap bling as they can carry.
After scraping their hair as far as they can possibly bear, it is proper to gather in groups of no smaller than 20 and ensure there are people to make fun of and spit at. Of course they shouldn’t target anyone who is likely to fight back, so they will choose people over eighty or if they feel like a real challenge they might go for children under eight.
After enjoying hanging outside the overpriced mcdonalds they will enjoy the again overpcied entertainment which no longer is based on audience participation but a tachy tribute band. Now it survives on commercial entertainment value.
While the fairy princess continues to waste away we are suffering in a chav-world. Will it ever change?? You be the judge