Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Buckinghamshire, South East, United Kingdom

Buckingham is a small market town about 15 miles from that renowned concrete anthill, Milton Keynes. To the untrained eye, it seems like a rather lovely place to live – old buildings devoid of 1960s brutalism, two supermarkets, lots of little indie shops etc. But the only thing that’s good about it…is not living there.

Despite the posh name and appearance, Buckingham is an absolute hole. Unless you are a chav, there is piss all to do here. Everybody seems to be related to or f*****g each other, and has more preteen mums than the average Bradford estate. There is zero nightlife, so the only place to go is Milton Keynes (Oceana) and obviously EVERYONE goes there.  Dare to walk through the town centre at any time of the day, and you will be greeted by WKD-swigging, Sovereign-smoking, 14-year-old residents of the council estates Westfields and Western Avenue, as well as the other no-go areas such as Anderton Road and Bourton Road. If your attire lacks any sporting attributes you will have “facking goff” hurled at you because obviously, anyone who ain’t a chav must be a goff. And Buckingham doesn’t like them, hence why most can be found in MK.

Bus services are an absolute joke, with a crummy metal hut posing as the “bus station” where one bus per hour stops if you’re lucky. Cornwalls Meadow car park is THE place to be on Saturday nights, where modified car owners hold their little cruises. Chandos Park is the most common shagging ground for the town’s residents, as well as the annual Charter Fair, where, despite the rides, is just another place for the WKD-swiggers to convene. Beatings, abuse, armed robberies all regularly take place in this regally-monikered hell hole. People here DO NOT WEAR TWEED. They style themselves after Jack Tweed, more like!

This dismal little excuse for a town is best avoided unless you desire to surround yourself with wannabe-cockney Shameless extras.

  • Matt

    Ridiculous. There is a Waitrose, a deli and at least 12 pubs. Yes, there are some mouthy sorts but we superiors must accept that institutionalised elitism is to blame for refusing them access to the grammar school, cruelly highlighting the inevitable worthlessness of their lives at a crucial stage in their social development. I accept that the new estate has lowered the tone somewhat. Still, ridiculous.

  • Lucy

    I think the description is pretty accurate!

    I come from Milton Keynes which I do agree is pretty souless and resembles something built by Lego but most people that live here are commuters.

    There is something to be said for the greenery though, I can walk 10 mintues and I will be in the countryside which is lovely for rambling or I can drive 10 minutes and be at the SnowDome or the AirKix place.

    My experience of Buckingham is that if you are an outsider you do not belong and the motley crew do tend to stick together and you are quite correct they are indeed shagging each other, I know this from hanging around with my friend for a while and experiencing the fights over who had slept with who – I found it all a bit weird 🙂

  • Darryl (not ‘Daz’ or ‘Dazzer’)

    I think geologically speaking, Milton Keynes is more of a ditch than a hill.

  • Han Fei

    its a good place because nice person lives there.

  • Nathan Fisher

    I’ve lived in this town my whole life and although there are alot of “chavs” about you usually don’t find any trouble at all, it’s not like in cities where they want to abuse you for a laugh they generally keep to themselves and my house has never had any damage to it at all, i can go out at any time of the day in any location and there’s no danger at all. Whoever wrote this must be some sort of goth and that’s practically asking for it wherever you go you know.

  • Ray Walters

    Put your dummy back in and cuddle up to your girlfriend/mum. As far as I am aware living in the area there has never been an armed robbery in Buckingham you muppet!!! Shameless Wannabe-c**kney extras??? are c**kneys not from london?? and where is Shameless set Manchester?? abit of a difference!!! I could go on about ALL the mistakes you have made but due to the fact you are the dumbest person around. Where you are from unless you have 6 fingers and webbed feet you are a freak!!!!!

  • TB

    A well written an informative article. You really have hit the nail on the head with the descriptions of the town and surrounding area.

    Well done

  • Frankie

    Haha!!! Whilst that did make me chuckle a little, I’ve lived near and worked in Buckingham for a lot of my life and it’s no that farking bad!

    Being of the …ahem ‘Alternative/Greebo’ walk of life myself I can safely say I’ve never been accosted by any little chav calling me a ‘Goff’! And yea there’s not a massive amout of nightlife but it’s a small town, there are however 6 or 7 pubs, most of which a fine for a drink with a few mates. Never had any problems!
    I think you may be being a little harsh! Ever been to Hartlepool?

  • Burlock

    Just because you can’t afford anything better than a 1 roomed flat on a council estate in Hull. Faggot.

  • ct

    So what your saying is you can’t afford to live there. !