Bridlington used to be a happy place,where rainbows would shine forth their beauty and chocolate streams of joy would flow from the harbour.It was beautiful.But then,one fateful dark and evil day in september,the forum exacted its chav influence over the residents of this peaceful community.It was a most distressing time.The revolution of the chav had taken place.A chav contains many dislikeable qualities.He would often abuse the elderly because of their disapproval of the many fake burburry items,namely,the sinister hats worn in a homoerotic fashion.If only there was someone,some messiah that could save this town from the darkness of the chav way.But it is too late,a lost cause,a spent force,it cannot be undone.Bridlington has been swallowed by the eternal vortex known only as chavdom.As the eternal hamster of destiny runs aimlessly around the hamster wheel of fate,it is clear that the chav will never leave.Never,NEVER!!!AAAGHH!they will be here forever,so all sane and unabused,remain as far away as u can from this formerly sunny seaside town,now doomed forever in its chav style.int that right maaate?mush. innit
As I was reading though this site and felt compelled to write this as nowhere does this site mention “bridlington” (possibly I missed it). I feel that this place is so central to the chavism ethos that it should have been the first thing mentioned. BRID is chav nirvana, its the holy land , its meka, its the sacred kingdom….. the importance of this place to chav society CAN NOT be over stated. it even has a shine (half buried nova on top of a hill,near the rubbish tip). chavs and chavettes gather at night around burning poop-a-scoop bins to tell prophesies and describe visions of this place.
bridlington is almost communist like in the fact that EVERYONE receives the same wages every week (£44.72)…..everyone is equal…….
You see, I had to go to the dole office to sort out a new claim. I’m a student not a bum…and the experience was truly fasinating. I’d never seen so many happy faces in a dole office,as was there in brid. I soon discovered why……it turns out that making a claim….(all that form filling).. is a mere formality in the kingdom of chav. your average brid chav need never worry or want for anything. it is the place where novas go to die. it is a place dripping in blingy fake burberry. a place where there’s more charity shops than the numurous stray dogs that ocupy the streets. a place where chavs and chavettes can be together and do chavy things with out the fear of council eviction or having there car towed away by accident. after all isn’t that what we all want in the end a place where we can be ourselves or in there case be each other (as they al look the same). ……snif…..sorry got a bit emotional & carried away there………….where was I…..oh yeah ……BRID…a place so depressing a dull that for any normal person to be required to live there would consitute “mental abuse” but the chav LOVE IT!
ladies (between 12-40) be warned, do not visit this place alone, always take a man with you, if anyone asks where your baby is the correct answer is :- “ba-bies wid da ney-ba, just off to NETTO like!”. you see for a female of breeding age to be without a pram raises eyebrows and turns heads. and this is likely to put you in moral danger!
BRID IS HARDCORE – CHAVLAND
PS.one last funny thing to mention is that I know of a lad from there who managed to get a pheasant stuck in the bonet of his nova.