Bowness (Windermere)

CumbriaNorth West

This is a sad indictment of how C***s are spreading to all corners of Britain to ruin absolutely everyhwere. On a recent trip to the Lakes I was sat enjoying the atmosphere of children playing and humans and animals pleasantly interacting as handfuls of food were gently tossed to a host of swans and ducks who graciously accepted these benevolent offerings. And then…

I spotted the scummy bastard instantly, standing out like a s**t stain on a wedding dress. A particularly nasty looking c**v, shirt open, displaying tacky gold necklace, a range of scrawly faded blue tattoos, and with eyes like piss holes in the snow. Anyway he strolled up to this vision of tranquility picked a swan up by the neck, wandered along with it, dropped it, proceeded in an attempt to kick a pidgeon, before finally strutting off to the amusement arcade. People gasped in shock, my girlfriend started crying and I spent the rest of the day thinking about what I should have done.

Later on he emerged from said Amusements to wander around scowling at random people who happened to be on his (yes that’s right, on his, not in his) path.

Top 10 worst places to live in England 2019