Written by Anonymous. Posted in South West

Boscombe high street, slinkys (chav pronounce it slinkees innit!)

Hey, I *used* to live in portsmouth, and moved to Bournemouth to escape chavness. I have experienced a degree of success, but bearing in mind that Portsmouth is the undisputed capital of all things council estate scum related, this was inevitable.
Now I live round the corner from boscombe high street. There are notable improvements, a walk to the spar (with mandatory group of chavettes wearing “f**k me” boots and miniskirts, despite sub arctic temperatures) will not generally result in a long stay in the local hozzie, or a short stay in the local morgue.
Although there is a park opposite my house, I must also point out that there are rarely any drunks, and the slightly threatening groups of teenagers who occasionally hang round have not actually done anything (as far as I know) other than emanante dodgyness.
The one major complaint I have is Slinkys.
A clubnight held in a flea infested tackylooking nightclub, almost directly next to “Greens” an equally tacky smeghole of a pub, complete with large T.V screens so the chavs can stare mindlessly at football, intermittently giving voice to ape-like hoots.
At kicking out time slkinkys is an all outr chav fest.
Tarts in creole earrings and horribly tacky high heeled shoes ( which probab;y cost eighty pounds to purchase and one korean + 5p to manufacture) teeter around drunkenly, screaming abuse at each other in chav-ese.
The blokes stand around, burberry caps pulled down over their eyes, looking for either a) a fight, b) the drunkest chav-ette, most likely to give blow job in side street c) more drugs.
the police mill about, not doing much…….
and me? I hurry home and vomit before scubbing my eyes out with bleach.
If you want a bit of entertainment this is the place to hang about, most of them are well under sixteen and have not as yet, learnt even the most basic of chav etiqutte, their behaviour is even more ridiculous than most chav-ettes and chav-ese.

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