Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in West Midlands

Bloxwich, well, first off before i begin to give a good comment about my town, let me say that I’m quite frankly surprised about the fact that this town has not been added in, which, too me is actually a bit of a surprise. Right, enough of the bullshit, lets begin.

Bloxwich, the haven that I’ve been living in for the past 20 years is one of these places that I ahve gotten use too over time. This town is actually situated between two chav havens, one is in Walsall, which is full of the bloody bastards. Then there’s Cannock, another chav haven, but full of even more of the little f*****s, and before someone says something, yes there is in fact wolverhapmton too. Or should i say, Vulgahampton, after a read an excellent article about that chav haven (recommended to read).

Now, don’t get me wrong, don’t think that because this little town is situated in the middle of three chav havens that this place doesn’t have any, because if it didn’t then there would be no point me writing in it.

But lets be serious for one moment, u r asking yourself where can you find these little bastards, and where do they hang out?

Well for one, during school hours, the town is virtually chav free everywhere all over town, as all the schools are actually situated outside the town centre, so it doesn’t get washed with them during the school lunchtime hours, like walsall, where you’d see an entire army of about 3,000 chavs emerging from blue coat secondary school, and their prime target is mcdonalds. After that, they f**k off back to school leaving a long track of their krypton food power (BIGMAC) all across town, all the way back to their school.

But, wait a minute, lets get back to bloxwich, because there’s so many good things there, that u don’t want to miss it, lol. DO U?

So, after school hours in bloxwich, the town is hit by a tidalwave of bruberry hats, pimped up vauxhall novas, and all of chavs favourite s**t, and they all meet up in the town centre. Their divided into different sectors, they all have to make sure they match the right description, in their own language and dress sense (serious now, lol), otha wise u will have the living s**t beaten out of you. And if u r lucky enough to escape, remember not to jump on the 301, othawise u r living our beloved town, and heading straight towards another complete chav haven, where they’ll wait for you in their reception at walsall bus station.

The divided sectors you need to luck out for in this area are the chav favourite, asda, where u r guaranteed to have ur wallet inspected for money before entry, and also again on the way out to make sure you didn’t con them.

Then there is the prince pub, where all of beloved chav friends shall sit, have a pint and be connected to the mothership of the chav network, otherwise known as EASTENDERS. And after they have left from their, if they believed they haven’t had enough, then they only have to walk about 15 yards across the road to walk into an off licence, buy, or in most cases nick the booze they want, walk outside, and collapse on the pavement. Or if they have the energy, take the long walk (i say long because it’ll probably take them half an hour to get their state but its really five minutes) and go to bloxwich park, where you’ll find the younger chav bastards drinking cider, smoking their soverign’s and throwing anything at virtually anyone, including themselves.

By the way, incase you missed it reading this, that is the other chav favourite spot, bloxwich park, but is only really for the younger ones. The younger ones from schools like Frank F Harrison (gr8 s**t hole), Syned (another gr8 s**t hole), and finally the chav haven where all they get educated on chav subjects, T.P. Riley, or otherwise known as the academy, as the school was recently replaced with a new academey, espisically set up to set a new standard in our town.

Hope u enjoyed reading this, please make any comments you wish about this gr8 town, and if you want any photographic proof about this place, please drop me a line.

Visit the town soon