EVERYWHERE – WE’RE SURROUNDED AND OVER RUN WITH THE BASTARDS, they’re like cockroaches, breeding succesfully despite the run down ghetto like pits of degredation they inhabit.
To find the local chav’s en masse you have only to check out the prom any day of the week where you’ll find them strutting their stuff attempting to intimidate passers by but failing miserably. The easiest place to discover a nest of the buggers though is any one of the many parks in suburban Blackpool after 6pm. Hordes of the spindly, baseball hatted, trouser tucking, spliff smoking little tw*ts abound, usually on stolen mountain bikes or bmx’s with the seat set at it’s very lowest point. Innocent walkers beware – on they’re own they’ll cower in your shadow but in groups of more than two they become the bravest, most fearless fighting men to stalk the streets, liable to attack without provocation or warning and with little hesitation in using your head as a trampoline or stealing your mobile phone.
I used to work as a doorman at “Chaven and Hell” the nightclub beloved of the Ned’s of Blackpool. This was a truly gratifying job as I was legally required to throw many of them out for possesion, consumption and selling of illegal substances aswell as refusing them entry for being far too “Chav” for their own good. The small village I live in just outside Blackpool is teeming with them after dark and there is dark talk in the ale houses of the locale – of vigilantism and doling out of retribution, much needed many would add!
If you visit (unwisely) Grange Park, the biggest, roughest council estate in the area you will truly find the motherload – in my opinion, this is where “Chav” was first born and where it should rightfully be destroyed. A B-52 full of napalm should do the trick or a bunker buster on the nearest dole office.
Haters of chav unite!!! Blackpool needs your help!