no matter what people say, birkenhead is fucked.
yeahh afterr 13 yearss heree i’d say it was near chav central (liverpool)
go to birkenhead park for one, and you get stalked by an 8 year old in a trackie hiding behind trees when you can blatently see him ^.^
&& don’t be scared of the girl walkin down the road goin “oh hiya beckyy. god i aint seen you in ages” while you try an explain you aint becky and that she’s stoned out of her mind.
not to mention what they like to call devonshire place, when really its just an expensive bit of birkenhead marked with the school of birkenhead high, where you get bullied to death and worked up to be top of the leader board in everything,
that’s when you go to a school like devonshire park pimary, by tranmere rovers, where you find, wow. life doesnt have to be that good/s**t (which ever you think looks better)
the local priamry school trains you up to be a vicious chav, with a head teacher from liverpool, who aint ever heard of the 11+ and fails you at life,
but thats just the way it goess.
then you get stuck in wirral willy grabberss, when you think its obv a better name than prenton pram pushers.
aha. that school teaches you to be a right chav,
and wirral is a mixx.
chav chav chav emo chav normal chav emo chav chav chav indie.
yeahh i went theree.
love ma form and the school and that but it’s like chav vs. chav 24/7
yeahh. police called in when jess d says s**t on the girls in our form,
starts takin the mick out of us at the dance show rehearsals,
when she’s break dancin to abba.
ohhh and dont try walkin round rock ferry in a hurry.
it’s a replica of birkanheadd totally.
dont go to birknehead north, you’re sure to be deadd.
try not to stand outtt, or look exactly the samee “why the f**k are you wearin the same trackie as me?”
then you get caught as the odd one out when you dont have a lighter on you cos they all want a fag.
don’t sit at the back of the bus by all means.
you get done in with chav music blarin outt, but the bus driver is s**t scared to say anythin, when they’ve got 3 baseball bats and a crowwbarr.
oh yeah cos they is well ‘ard,
don’t go down woodside end by the town hall.
you are dead before you know itt.
just try not to walk round birkenhead at night fullstop.
you’ll either get beaten up, shot, stabbed or chucked on a bonfire.
no jokes there guyss.
and when they say, oh yeah birkenhead is getting to be a better place, they mean, there is more trouble and it’s more exciting if you’re a chav runnin’ from the police 🙂
yeahh. i know my town well.
when someone says do you wanna buy this, you run before they pull out a knife and threaten you.
and when someone says “you’ve been pickin on my little brother”
you run, don’t look back or say anything, and try and find someone you can get help from.
not ya mate who’s already half way down the road near the bus station getting his day ticket outt!!
and try to avoid the pyramids shopping center.
one step out of line can get you barred for life 😉
learn from experience bub.
so yeahh. tbhhh. dont go to birkenheadd love.
it’s s**t, (yeah i live theree! “/)
new visitors aint welcome kayy, (they’ll hunt you down for tea, trust me!)
dont go the arno either.
it’s the same.