this little chav infested paradise can be accessed on the #79 bus from wolverhampton.bilston is extremely chav friendly,amongst other things bilston town centre is 1 street long,along with an exclusive chav market where the elite chavs from tipton,darlaston,wednesbury,westbromwich can purchase or nick their favourite knock-off designer gear.Dotted along the main chavfare you can find such culinary delights as fish and chips(there,s at least 3 chippys) as well as staple chav dietary concerns i.e.mcdonalds and a pizza place.
If you venture into bilston town centre and walk past boots you will find the perfect vantage point to witness the thing that is called chavvies,you will more often than not find them conversing in the usual language……’ey yow! where ya bin’ ‘i,m gooing up wolvo’ then i,m gooing to get wrecked’If anybody wants to witness at first-hand the female chavs then get yourself down to the ‘majors’ chip shop then start queing to get that chav delight…..£1.00 special with gravy.It should become obvious to the well-trained chavvy spotter that the women serving in this particular chip-shop are chavvys,if you require further proof check out their base-ball caps and massive fools-gold earings.Nighttime activity is kept to a minimum however it has been known on occasion that you may find the odd chav hanging around bilston bus station,if you need further chavvy spotting i suggest that you take a 10 minute stroll to villiers square,yes it,s a square with a liberary,an off-lisense,a launderetteand a crappy video rental place thats always got 2fast2furious out on rental,take time to avoid where the chavs have gobbed on the floor you should find some chav infested benches,where the local pond-life have been quaffing watered down lagers all day long,puchased from the local chav establishment known as’the villiers arms’.The landlord took it upon his self to open this mecca on xmas day,coz the poor lost chavs did,nt know what to do on a public holiday.Still not had your fill of chavs yet? then take a leisurely5 minute walk( be aware to avoid all the dog-s**t from the chav dogs on the footpath) to middleway green,if youre extremely lucky you could avoid the customary greeting ‘oi mate goo in the shop fer me?’If youre unlucky it,s quite possible that you could encounter 10 or more chavvies trying to act ‘hard’ and thinking theyre cool saying’i fooked her i did”she was a right slapper”i ,ad a massive headache i did,i smoked draw all afternoon in the house”an me mother never even knew” ‘ay it great
Still not had your chavvy spotting fix yet?
Then make your way to Moseley Park School main gates,n.b. this has to be done after school hours seeing as you can never find ,em in school,these particular chavvies are of the worst kind of chavy.They are known as chavusdestructusstonusdumfuckus these silly whiggers rampage up and down neighbouring cumberland road kicking fences,knocking on windows of old-people,damaging cars,hanging around the school,parading around smoking cannabis,though they hide their drugs whenever a police car is 1000 yards of,em(they must be really dense,you go to school in the daytime you thick chavvy twats)But if you should require even further proof of chavviness,you must make a special journey down to the ‘lunt’ estate(this is by far the biggest public toilet in england) where all bilston chavs evolved from,the local chippy on the lunt is open 7 days a week,if it were to shut the poor lunt-chavs would fadeaway,anybody thats in full-time employment on that estate is frowned upon and greeted by the lunt chav sneer of jealousy and envy.
Word of warning to all non-chavs:if you want to get on life,dont ever seek employment at the rag-place in batmanshillroad,if you thought the earrings the women in ‘the majors’ chippy were big then they do not have anything on the chav-fems that work in the rag-place,these chav-fems take chav-fashion to extremes by wearing brand new ‘rockport’ boots to work there.Usual greeting by these chav-fems if youre lucky to be within ear-shot is’ rockport boots £200 pahned’this greeting can sometimes be followed up by’got me chap this massive gold chain£900 pahned’
God help you if you happen to be the odd-one out,and like rock music,you will in turn be stared at like you,ve just dropped out of a dogs bottom.
So in closing if you want to avoid bilston then i suggest you stay on the #79.