Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Uncategorised

It was largely owing to the heroic efforts of the wartime pilots based at Biggin Hill that Hitler’s planned invasion of Britain did not take place. In recent years, however, this once peaceful town and its surrounding area has been overrun by a force of evil which would have made even the Nazi Youth shudder… Not even the RAF could keep out the Chavs!

Favourite haunts include the Recreation Ground, “Dogshit Alley”, steps of the public library and the kebab shop. Also to be seen hanging around in droves outside “Booze Run”, hassling older passers into running illegal fag and liquor errands for them. Pastimes include destroying every bus shelter between Lebanon Gardens and Bromley Common, setting fire to the Recreation Ground Pavillion building, and smashing the windows of every car parked between “The Fox and Hounds” and St Winifred’s Road.

Adolf Hitler, all is forgiven! By way of our own “Final Solution”, I suggest that Burberry treats all of its plaid check baeball caps with Zyklon B…