OxfordshireSouth East
Bicester is a historic market centre in Oxfordshire, beautiful and interesting as it may seem, there are some hidden truths behind it that are not mentioned in your average newspaper or brochure.
A problem that has plagued Bicester for as long as I can remember are the *****, the burberry-wearing trouble makers that normally habitate in council houses with half a dozen other siblings. These ***** often linger around chip shops or co-ops in groups of 5-10, yelling or jeering at passers by.
I have been going to school with many of these ***** for nearly 5 years and for all you **** fearing people, I can only suggest not going to places such as sheep street. Sheep street is a brilliant place to go if you want a reasonably priced shopping spree. But ***** are waiting at every corner and alley, many people come to sheep street only to buy a few essentials and have to dread walking through a big crowd of *****. They enjoy cycling near somerfield or near the methodist church, I am ashamed to say that these crimes against nature attend my school and I apologize for any inconveniences they cause you.
Another “no-go” zone is Bure Park, a fairly large suburb with 3 big mistakes :
1. the co-op
2. the chip shop
3. council houses
It is obvious that whoever thought of putting these things all in the same place had no clue that ***** would make it their headquarters. I rarely go there and the reason for that being the fear of getting the same torment I do at school. Again, many of the ***** who “hang” there attend my school and seeing people they take a dislike to is like a sick twisted sport for them.
You may also think Garth park is a nice place to take your dog for a walk or to sit on a public bench in. But I advise you stay well away from it, having been dragged through the pathway leading through Garth and out next to the courtyard, the only description for it would be a walk to hell and back. I knew as soon as I entered the big metal gates that the ***** would be conquering the skate ramps, but proceeded to walk despite a few of the ***** I knew calling me appaullingly bad names merely because of the way I dressed. I would’ve made a few comments about their cheap “golden” jewellery and baggy trousers myself but figured I was about to argue with the lowest form of intelligence, I advise you only ignore the comments you get or suffer the humiliation of dressing like one of them.
Finally, there is bassette avenue, another chip shop/co-op combination.
This crummy avenue is directly opposite Cooper Secondary school, the school I attend. It also features a pub where the older ***** would go for a pint or two….or three? In fact, the co-op has banned cooper school students from visiting because of the shop-lifters, I immediately thought : the *****. I have seen them standing in their groups eating chips out of cones and can advise that if you want to rent a movie from blockbusters, do not go to Bassette avenue.
Conclusively, I hope that you have learnt the truth about Bicester and will take extra care when going to these various areas. There are a few more areas I have not mentioned but will suggest you also look out for, these are : Pingle field, Murdock road, Buckingham road and Churchill road.
So enter Bicester at your own risk and look out for the *****.

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