Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Uncategorised

London Borough of Southwark enters the chav fray with this most dangerous bunch of tight knit ( inbred) Sarf London shitbags. Do not go to Bermondsey , they will spot you, then they will kill you, the whole “community” will then close ranks.

Their “football” team is the noble Millwall , that beacon of multicultural relations. I went there once to see my team play this scum, it was the most frightening day of my life. I am 6’3″, my knees were shaking , my teeth were chattering. I wanted to die, …….it nearly happened. Gangs of feral effluent attacking old men and kids. There is no “law” around here , the police are genuinely scared of this filth. On Saturday afternoons whole generations of scum will turn out to attack visiting fans.

On a much brighter note, the locals when not attacking outsiders often shoot,stab,murder their own for pleasure. Their attire is the usual chav but it is not “snide” it is “ream” . Taken from a lorry highjacked on the Old Kent Road , the driver unnecessarily beaten senseless despite voluntarily giving up his quarry , just for a “laarp”.

Stone Island , Prada, Burberry. It’s all here. So are the obligatory JJB England flags hanging out out of their high-rise asbestos hell. No cars on bricks though, cos they take turns in stealing each others auto-chavheaps, and it’d be a waste to ruin a perfect thieving opportunity for 10 year old chavs in training for their future careers.

Single motherhood is essential , for maximum benefits. Do not under any circumstances have a child the same colour as yourself , or who looks anything like your current(ie This Weeks)partner/abuser.It’s bizarre here , the white boys are called Dwuanne and Aaron, and the black boys Micky or Dave . Bit confusing I know .

Want to know what the average local chav is like . Well, you do .Jade Goody is from this asylum. She is considered a bit of a sage by locals .Cos “She done well , yu na’a min.”

If you dare to go here listen out for the expressions “chored”, “weighed in”, “raggd” among many. Bring a baseball bat . Don’t worry you wont stand out, everyone here’s got one in their “drum”.

The local currency is not UK Sterling , but other peoples property.Shortly after your 5th drumming(burglary),you may get some of your old possessions back ,as long as they “do” next door as well.

It is essential to be an in-denial addict . Drugs of choice Crack(for scumbags, apparently!, but theyre all on it), Charlie( for special occassions i.e Chantelle’s first birthday party), Skunk( for….all day everyday to blot out the misery of their blighted lives).

Ray Winstone starred in a film about this hovel called “Nil By Mouth”. My Mrs said it looked an awful place . The film actually made it look like St Tropez.

Do not go to Bermondsey they will spot you, then they will kill you ,then the police will say there is insufficient evidence to present a case.